land of rest

a confession

2012-01-22T12:28:00.001-08:00

Lord God of all mercy, you came to make the path straight;
Yet we have complicated our lives,
and assumed responsibility for those things
for which you did not want us to be responsible.
You came to clear away mountains so we might come to you more easily;
And still we have made mountains again out of molehills,
and put our possessions and habits in the way of your path.
You have offered your forgiveness again and again;
And we have turned it aside and held grudges, anger, and judgment
upon ourselves and others.
During the days ahead, open our eyes to your unrelenting forgiveness,
and to the self destructive ways which we can be reluctant to release.
We are yours, O Lord, have mercy upon us. Amen.

Definitions

2012-01-20T13:23:00.000-08:00

Oftentimes I hear or speak of people by what they have done,
or where they come from, or maybe what they look like - but perhaps we might know each other better not from our looks or where we stood or what we have left behind but rather those with whom we have been in relationship.

We are defined by our relationships:
the people we love, and the people we hate;
the people we forgive and the people we ignore;
those things we eat and those things that revolt us;
those things we cherish and our trash;
the animals we tame and the creatures we fear;
the life that leaves us in awe;
and that which we cause to be extinct without any concern;
how we let go and what we hold onto;
how we become one and how we keep separate;
who we serve and who we expect to serve us;
who is our God and who is our devil and who is our neighbor;
we are defined by our relationships.

Certain Thoughts

2012-01-20T09:07:00.000-08:00

"Whenever people are certain they understand our peculiar situation here on this planet, it is because they have accepted a religious Faith or a secular Ideology (Ideologies are the modern form of Faiths) and just stopped thinking." - Robert Anton Wilson (as found on the website boingboing.net)

This quote reflects the reason why I oftentimes find faith and religious depth to be greatly lacking. Feeling that we understand God, life and what we are all about; or feeling so certain about our knowledge and experience that we peddle it as truth and divine is dangerous. Certainty does not make us one with God. In fact certainty shields me more often than not from the grace and humor of God. To be in love, to be alive, to be engaged, to grow, and be surprised by the endless compassion of the divine is what I long for within my soul; and that can never be found in certainty.
Certainty is when I stop walking with God in order to tell others that I once met God; so that I might impress someone with my experience. Uncertainty is continuing to walk with God, to fall in love with those I meet, and to discover who they are and be surprised by their blessings.

This is especially evident when local or national politics enters the realm of the church, and I get very nervous. It is such a dangerous and slippery slope that can quickly slide a congregation or an individual away from facing one’s own issues, and instead be so certain about someone else’s need. It is impossible to separate faith from our political sphere, the act of voting or involving oneself in efforts to make our civic life better is deeply rooted in our beliefs. And though it is dangerous, it is still necessary. This is why humility and uncertainty are so crucial to being actually faithful and open to God.

It seems that politics has also been sidetracked by the misuse of religion. What should be a platform for compromise and collaboration, has instead become a pulpit for intransigence. The expectations for politicians to make a hard line stand on issues of sexuality, when life begins, the needs of the poor, and environmental concerns in order to be supported by various religious groups is misguided. Rather than seeking endorsements, politicians perhaps could seek the questions from the religious communities that might help guide them in the process of discovering new routes and possibilities to solving our problems.

Rather than claiming the answer or the “right way” and expecting politicians to follow, we in the religious community should be insisting on raising the questions. Making a statement of faith and morality define our civic discussion is like making one’s scientific hypothesis define one’s observations. Our observations and discussions should help us see more clearly our morality and our faith. Questions of integrity can and should be raised by scientific and faith communities. As an example, rather than siding with oppressed minorities to change someone else, perhaps we should be asking the question why we are the one’s in the majority and they are not. When the prophetic role of questioner is supplanted by an insistence on being right, we avoid changing ourselves in efforts to change others. In expressing our knowledge and certainty, we lack the ability to learn anything more, and prove that we are not growing in anyway with our God.

He has shown thee, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8

rainy day/snowy day reflection january 13 2012

2012-01-13T10:19:00.000-08:00

So much change seems to be impending upon so much of life these days. From the structures of our civic institutions like government, religion, education, health care to the way in which we eat and communicate there seems to be deep change and unease because of this impending transformation. Often I hear the comparison of our time to the time when the printing press changed society hundreds of years ago. Now it is computers and technology that is changing things.
On one level I try to brace myself for the change and try to adapt, on the other level I find myself seeing the dangers of the changes and what might be unintended consequences. But I also know that what I think or wish to happen will actually make that great of a change in the outcome. Like complaining about the national government, what I think really doesn’t effect the actions or outcomes of national politics.
What I can control or have some sense of engagement is the way I respond and how I let it effect me. There is a storm of energy trying to make me accept the new ways, technology and ideas and there is a landslide behind me washing the ground beneath me towards the way things were, or how I envisioned them to be in the past. These are not my only two options, no matter what I might feel. There is also the deep rooted present experience that exists now, and is the platform for my response. Perhaps this platform, or the people with whom I address these concerns are my base of transformation. It is not in the future or the past, but in the ever blown present moment that I hold to truth and love. My experience of the mysteries of God, the holiness of life and the coming of grace is not found in what I once knew or what is coming barreling down on me, but rather with whom I hold onto in the midst of the storm. A situational morality that might make something work for the future good by compromising myself now only continues to compromise myself in the future. It is only the integrity of now, that I can connect to the eternal. It is not found in what feels good, not what feels right, but on the deep rooted and timeless branch of connection to the larger life beyond my limits. The seed for hope is not found to the left or to the right, above or below; rather it is where we are, as we are the seed and the soil.
The change I am seeking is to lead me back to what I have always longed for, what I have always known and to what has been my source all along. The tradition I hold onto is not in the past or the ways I have done things or the way things were but in the integrity and faithfulness to what has always been inspiring me and holding me.

making decisions

2012-01-12T08:40:00.000-08:00

They called off school today, before any snow was falling. There were weather reports of impending snow then snow and rain which they felt would be a dangerous scenario for the buses and others traveling. Making decisions for others oftentimes makes us more cautious, it is when we are making decisions for ourselves that we tend to be more reckless, it is just a quick trip or this will just take a minute. Though when we make decisions with only ourselves in mind we forget that if anything happens to us, it effects profoundly those others we would have most certainly wished to have used more caution.

morning reflection, 1/09/12

2012-01-09T02:48:00.001-08:00

It is hard for me to lose at games, or arguments. When I do there is a part of me that wants to get back and try again until I figure out a way to win, or to present myself in such a way as to do better. I also have to consciously find strength and a stillness that lets me realize that I need to pay attention to the other person and their strength, value and the importance of their moment of victory or the point that they are making. Sometimes this struggle causes me to not want to compete at all, unless I am rather certain that I can win. There are times when I find myself in such situations unexpectedly or because of circumstances and I find myself responding quickly with an overwhelming offensive reaction so as to knock out any sense of conflict at all. There is a growth and maturity that comes from a healthy acceptance of competition and of the value of those who challenge us.
Recently I found myself discovering a new twist to this dimension of my life and the challenge to grow and mature with regards to this area of my life. While joking with my wife she began an attempt to tickle me. As one who is very ticklish, I quickly responded by grabbing her hands and not letting go of her, so that she could not tickle me. There was not even going to be the chance of such an experience. It was all simple a fun and games time, yet I suddenly had a reaction stronger than the playfulness and was in a reactionary defensive mode. She had absolutely no desire to hurt me, simply responding with a playful give and take. I was suddenly aware of my need to be able to give but not receive.
If I cannot lose graciously, then I cannot win graciously. If I cannot receive than I cannot give. If I have to always be in control, than perhaps I really have no control at all. The walls of my defensiveness rejected any possibility of vulnerability. And once I shut down an openness to being vulnerable I stop the journey to a deeper intimacy.
I still do not like to be tickled, I still do not like to lose. But allowing for a moments laughter and someone’s power over me, or someone’s better ability or luck in a game opens me up to even being in a game or relationship with someone else.

Jan 2, 2012

2012-01-02T03:48:00.000-08:00

There have been times when I have wanted to be bishop or at a large or prestigious church, or other times when I have longed to be recognized or felt considered on the larger stage of the church. It is always an ego need that sparks these feelings. There are times when I think I could do better, or perhaps have gifts that are important for the time. And there are times when living in a small town in a rural out of the way place feels forgotten, or left behind; especially as I watch others move on to larger venues. As I am preparing to finish up a score of years here in Thomaston I am aware of the great changes that have taken place in my life, the small and seemingly insignificant events that in fact have been pivotal to me and my faith. And even more so, as I look at the new calendar year ahead and start planning what I think needs to happen, I am reminded that it is more important to simply be open to how the Lord and his love are going to be manifest, than to be planning to make things happen. And in these thoughts am even more aware of the greatness, far an above any idle fantasy I may have, that is found in this simple place where I am, a place where God is waiting for me. Glorious

dec 31 2011

2011-12-31T07:14:00.000-08:00

Coming to the end of a year reminds me of all the collected memories or events of the last year. I so often look for the great insight, or event, or turning point in things; yet it is in the accumulated journey of events that any of the larger understandings and truths emerge. Waiting is not being still, it is observing and reflecting as we continue on in the ordinariness of our day.

"If" by Rudyard Kipling born Dec. 30, 1865

2011-12-27T19:07:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Rudyard, this Friday. I will be reading from his work this Thursday, Dec. 29th on Wrfr at 7 a.m.

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And which is more; you'll be a Man, my son!

The Coming of Christmas Quiet

2011-12-26T06:45:00.000-08:00

The fanfare of services, expectations, shopping, family, friends etc. of Advent is the perfect preparation for Christmas; the incarnation of God in our lives. Because I have found that I see and hear God most clearly when alone and quiet. Sometimes the huge noise of culture creates a vacuum which is the silence that emerges the day after Christmas. Now the season of being with ourselves and God can begin. A time to reflect and be still and know, to stop long enough to change directions without skidding off the road. Christmas is a season that begins on the day when culture, tradition, expectation and family all crash. The silence which follows is the time for the Mary within ourselves to begin pondering all these things that are happening around us.

more pics

2011-12-25T14:47:00.001-08:00

The time's they are a changing

2011-12-25T13:33:00.000-08:00

There are some holidays when we have family together, when that happens it is crazy, and sometimes stressful - but it is the times when our memories are deeply fertilized with fresh and very nutrient rich events. This year I got to witness the boys here all wearing bow ties, something I never imagined. And many times of sibling bantering.

a good piece

2011-12-25T05:24:00.000-08:00

This is from Maureen Dowd's Christmas editorial in the New York Times this year, about Charles Dickens.

In his 1851 short story “What Christmas Is As We Grow Older,” Dickens makes the case that the holiday is the time to “bear witness” to our parallel lives, our “old aspirations,” “old projects” and “old loves.”

“Welcome, alike what has been, and what never was, and what we hope may be, to your shelter underneath the holly,” he wrote.

Maybe, he suggests, you end up better off without that “priceless pearl” who does not return your love. Maybe you don’t have to suppress the memory of deceased loved ones.

“Lost friend, lost child, lost parent, sister, brother, husband, wife, we will not so discard you!” he wrote. “You shall hold your cherished places in our Christmas hearts, and by our Christmas fires; and in the season of immortal hope, and on the birthday of immortal mercy, we will shut out Nothing!”

incarnation

2011-12-22T06:57:00.000-08:00

The coming of God into the world as a human being, to experience life as we do and to make the same journey as we towards death, is a great challenge to us to be conscious of our bodies. Christianity has not always seen the body as good and often as a negative force with its desires. Other religions have dietary understanding, physical regimens for meditation or defense. Christianity has coffee hours and perhaps the aerobics of standing, kneeling and sitting for those of the Episcopal tradition. How we move and breath and have our being in our bodies is crucial to our faith. It is not simply about denial or controlling unwanted desires; but about how we stretch, eat, move and relate with each other. It is in our body that we experience the joy of the Lord, not just as an intellectual thought. So often we mistake right thinking with right living. Change in how we understand our bodies is not just discovered by rigid discipline but also by loving acceptance and experience of more wonderous ways than the self destructive paths of our addictive habits and avoidances of discomfort or pain.
The season of the incarnation or Christmas is a wonderful time to reconnect ourselves with our body. It is in this journey, our mortal path, that we are able to come to know and experience the love and restorative forgiveness of God in Jesus.

Light

2011-12-20T09:13:00.000-08:00

Everything we see is simply reflected light, and all matter we touch is matter formed from the stars. Somehow there is a power which fills all this with life, we struggle for language to describe the mystery. The experience of love and life is larger than our words and stories. Our religions are ways in which we collectively have been able to convey the deep truths in the best way we can find. It is always changing and adapting as our language and experience change. There will never be a final statement of faith or love, as the statement is only a reflection of what we experience. And as long as we keep experiencing love and life the efforts to express them will continue. This does not belittle the Church or Scripture, as Scripture is always being retranslated in ways that we can better hear and understand. It does not diminish that which has been experienced, because what we continue to experience is only a continuation and a further manifestation of that which was and is and will be.

some early morning thoughts

2011-12-16T01:08:00.001-08:00

There seems to be a war on religion in our country, but it is being waged by my dear fellow Christians who seem to find this a motivating force. It is thought that if someone is seen as attacking us then we have something to fight, and having a cause and fight will unite us. The experience of our Lord Jesus is what unites us, though. The activity of government is to have people find ways to work together and achieve the common good, the purpose of business is to make money and to provide a good product to serve their clientele. The idea that these groups are waging an attack on religion is not on either of their agendas as I would see it. Perhaps there is a spiritual power, such as satan, which is using government or business to fight Christianity. If it is seen as the liberals or the democrats as waging this war, then it is simply a war that is being used by the other political party to get votes, using faithful people for political gain. People using religion for political gain is very dangerous, once we set our eyes on earthly power it is hard to keep it fixed on Jesus. But if it is a spiritual war of satan then the best way to fight it is with a heart totally set on Jesus, praising God, and allowing the power of Jesus to win the war he has already won and not getting in the way. But to use this as a way to promote a faith and get others to believe I feel is misguided. I have yet to meet someone who has come to a deep relationship with Jesus because a store had a Christmas tree or holiday tree. In fact people who see religion only at this time of year oftentimes only understand it in a very superficial way. If one’s faith is known only at a major holiday such as Christmas, then it would be like only visiting someone once a year with millions of others. Visiting the White House on a tour does not make one a close friend with the president. What touches my heart and is what inspires me is when we are not fighting culture wars and having religious views thrown around by politicians, but when this energy is in fact spent by someone facing the experience of a life engaged and serving Jesus. Power and transformation takes place when I am not fighting or making society different, but rather allowing Jesus to change me and have my life transformed from this world to the actual reality of his grace. I suppose the point that I am trying to make is that when I share my experience and witness to what has happened to me it is more powerful and life changing than when I am avoiding experiencing change myself by trying to change the larger world around me.

A blessing for you and those whom you love

2011-12-15T23:36:00.000-08:00

May technology not distract you or those you love
from the actual love in your lives.

May your health and the health of those you love
know the healing light of God’s love
and be sustained by the companionship of Jesus’ touch.

May the political whirlwind of an election year
not sidetrack you from what is truly important in your world.

May the wisdom of the Holy Spirit
remind you of the things you might find yourself forgetting;
and renew the manners of those with whom you share this planet.

May the comforts and blessings of our wonderful land
not become curses that blind us to the God
who is the source of all blessings.

May the challenges of a changing world inspire you
to an openness that will renew love, restore peace,
and excite the passion to love within your soul.

And may deep joy emerge from any sorrow,
lasting peace from any anxiety, strong hope from confusion,
and the fullness of love from any despair.

Why I think this Christmas has potential

2011-12-08T05:51:00.000-08:00

This has been a hard Christmas to come up with something poignant to write about. There are many people who are unemployed, I know many who are in serious financial difficulty, who are facing serious health concerns, or wrestling with mental health. There are headlines which cause me anxiety, and changes in so many aspects of life that I find it overwhelming. So why have I arrived at the conclusion that this year Christmas has some real potential? Well, it struck me that for so long this season has been all about us. It is about our families, communities, our businesses, our memories, what we want and how we can feel good by doing for others. Perhaps, because of all of these challenges, this year it might become more about Jesus. Maybe, just maybe, because we are spending so much more time pleading and searching out for God in our struggles, that we find God again. And in our meeting, we will discover that God is used to challenging times and very comfortable with filling those times with meaning and historical purpose.

The Light of Christ

2011-12-08T05:50:00.000-08:00

Everything we see, hear, feel, or touch comes from the energy released in the stars, some of which was billions of years ago. The story of Jesus coming into the world is described as ‘the light that shines in the darkness’. We have the story of the angel appearing to Mary, announcing the birth of Jesus. I oftentimes have imagined that the angel appeared from some other place, perhaps from some “out there, other reality”. The very energy that has created all things, filled all things, and is in all things, perhaps holds the potential of all things; and sometimes are we able to comprehend a small piece of the whole. Perhaps the angels did not come from “out there”, but rather from within all that is around us. The birth of Jesus, or the joining together of the human and the Divine, might be understood as, not something that happened from a God who is out there, or up there, but rather, an emerging of the reality that is already here among us. Where there is the energy of life, there is the energy and love of God. When we see ourselves as separate or alone, or try to become removed from our deep interconnections, we choose the darkness. We are still discovering our engagement with the light that burst forth from the very beginning, possibly billions of years ago. The birth of Jesus was a historical experience, but also perhaps an ongoing reality.

2011-12-03T08:29:00.000-08:00

Stronger than water
no greater power on earth,
mother and daughter.

Speaking gentle truth
without having to impress -
first pressed olive oil.

It is such a rich and delicious blessing to be able to watch the dynamics, the inseperable bonds, the give and take, and most of all how two lives are so intricately and irrevokably interwoven, of a mother and a daughter.

Thank you Emily and Hanna.

honest weather forcast

2011-12-01T19:20:00.000-08:00

Northeast and Mid-Atlantic: equal chances for above-, near-, or below-normal temperatures and precipitation.

This is the link for NOAAs winter forecast where this great sentence which covers anything is found.

http://freepressonline.com/main.asp?SectionID=52&SubSectionID=78&ArticleID=16481

2011-12-01T17:54:00.000-08:00

It is interesting to me that in Haiti, faith is essential to survive - electricity is an option. In the United States electricity is essential and faith is an option.

Here is a picture of Father Quatorze and the students at the school in Fiervil, Haiti outside of Gros Morne. This is a school we, at St. John's in Thomaston, have been supporting for a number of years. Their gifts and graciousness is as valuable if not more than the simple financial support we give them.

a few thoughts for the morning

2011-12-01T00:09:00.000-08:00

Warmth, layers of cloths,
Blankets and covers;
Being hot is not just a style for some.

It is what we choose
Which brand of news
We are going to view.
We want to agree
With what we see,
Certainly not anything new.

Eczema- some words are not only hard to spell, they just seem to get under your skin.

The Body of Faith

2011-11-18T12:34:00.001-08:00

The other day I was walking down the sidewalk and started kicking a pile of leaves that had accumulated in my way. Suddenly a scent arouse from the pile that rang the alarm of many deep memories within me of fall days throughout my life. It was a delightful and deep surge of remembered joys. It is amazing to me how our bodies remember and hold onto memories through our senses, habits, muscles and mind. It seems to me that all of our personal history is held in the various parts of our body, only waiting for a spark to light the connections; perhaps a smell, a color, or the experience of a hurt that brings back past memories.
Christianity is an incarnational faith, in other words it is a faith that is understood and known by the experience of our human existence. The story of Jesus is that of God come into the human condition, and in doing so, broke down any barrier or distance that might have been experienced between God and humanity. The driving force of God’s love was to be directly and intimately connected and with all of us. As such our bodies and all of its systems and structure hold the links or pieces whereby we can experience this love of God.
So often we think of faith and religion in the form of words; beliefs, ideas, stories and sayings or dogmas. Yet, our experience of God is often understood in our bodies, which are more complicated than just our minds. Smells of church, sounds of music, the actions of our body in kneeling or reaching out, the effects of stress on our nervous systems when we do not forgive, or when we do forgive; these are just some of the ways our bodies incorporate the experience of God.
The holidays are a cornucopia of sensual stimulants which ignite many of our deep memories and understandings of who and what we are all about. It is a time when we experience faith and our religion more clearly through all of our senses, in the smells of a kitchen, or the sounds of people gathering, or the emptiness of a house. Prayer is not just the words we use in our mind, but the way we move and breathe and react to our mortality and the experience of time happening in the present.

Call no man Father

2011-10-30T14:22:00.000-07:00

“But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all students. And call no one your father on earth, for you have one Father-- the one in heaven. Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Messiah. The greatest among you will be your servant. All who exalt themselves will be humbled, and all who humble themselves will be exalted." Matthew 23:11-12

There have been many times when I have heard people quote this to me as to why priest should not be called ‘father’. It is interesting to me that the title of ‘father’ is what is remembered and used with this text, not rabbi, nor teacher. I have never heard anyone say that we should not call someone teacher, who is in that role. Though, this text would be quotable and applicable just as it would be for the title ‘father’. When we want to use scripture, we can find ways to use it, though when we read it for insight and are still enough to actually read the larger text it somehow finds a way to use us.

This text is all about serving others. A teacher, a religious leader, a political leader, a military leader, a police officer or whomever is leading or assuming a position of authority needs to see the position as a responsibility and act of serving not as a way to gain power over others for one’s own status or gain. A leader using her or his office for monetary gain or as a way to dominate others is being abusive and moving out of the grace of God’s anointing for such a position.

Using scripture to justify a point already held is dangerous and helps lead us to assume things about God that might not be appreciated by God. Reading this passage today is a good reminder to me to pay attention more, and to be slower to think I understand what it is that is before me. The steadfast love of the Lord is new every morning, so let it be new in me with the newness of this new day.

some fun and thoughts for today

2011-10-17T17:56:00.001-07:00

March with passion
Breath for compassion
Todotodoto Todotodoto
Eat for clarity
Embrace with charity
Betobetobe Betobetobe
Write a revolution
Question every solution
Todotodoto Todotodoto
Read everything
Drive as if with wings
Betobetobe Betobetobe
Dance to belong
Taste your song
Todotodoto Todotodoto
Sing with the depth of thirst
Face the fears of the cursed
Betobetobe Betobetobe
Love all and
Hear the call
Todotodoto Betobetobe

Advertising my opinions on my car is not my preference.
So, I was pleasantly surprised to discover in buying a Prius that they did not all come with Obama bumper stickers.

So many pictures
taken of your pretty face,
yet your body dances.

What happened to us?
We have gotten way too fat;
Yet we’re still the same.

O God, you can make a miracle by simply taking a breath,
Breath on my, oh, breath of God.

Surprised by Joy

2011-10-13T12:32:00.000-07:00

So often I find that it is easier to give than to receive. In fact receiving can pose an odd sense of unease that I cannot explain. But recently I found out that my car was not going to pass inspection and repair costs were looming before me. Suddenly my parents called up and offered me a new car! Needless to say I was overwhelmed. I was confronted with the reality of excitement welling up within me. Not only that, but they wanted to pick it out for me. They knew that I would pick out a used car that was sufficient. They wanted to pick out one that would be fun. When we were at the dealer I found myself having to let go of my usual acceptance of mediocrity and having to be conscious of choosing something that would be fun. It was an odd but exciting feeling. Aging and responsibility sometimes dulls our sense of delight and wonder. Here are a couple pictures of the car. I also chose my first vanity plate to go with it - WONDRUS from one of my favorite hymns, Wondrous Love.

Fresh local music

2011-10-03T12:01:00.000-07:00

In recent years we have been discovering the downside and darkside to all of our processed food. We have also been rediscovering the great health benefits of whole, healthy and local food. The more we seem to process and mass produce our food the more unhealthy it becomes even though it becomes more abundant and cheaper at first. In the long run its costs upon our health are greater and its overabundance only causes us to eat more of the things we do not need. This processing of things is not limited to our food, though. We have done the same thing with many other aspects of essential elements to our life. One area of over processing that is just as damaging to our lives, and yet has not gotten the same attention, is processed music. We have mass produced and over processed our music to the point that there is little to no connection between people and the soul of sound in our lives. We are plugged in, with an overabundance of packaged bytes in our technology that have been over processed and reproduced to the point of becoming sterile. I would rather have a faulty young voice grapple with the sounds of a tune, live in front of me than the bought, re-recorded sound of some perfect famous far off celebrity. There are very few songs that I know by heart, and our processed music makes it harder for me to want to learn a song in my heart that I might sing while in the shower or walking down the street. Apart from a community or school choir or a church gathering there are very rare moments that one might actually sing anything. What was once an integral part of our society and ways in which we grew in love with each other, now is a way for some to market for manipulate to keep us from feeling like we could also participate. Life is a participatory activity, not a product to be consumed or to collect. Let us not only eat locally and healthy but also sing out our lives with the local friends and family with whom we live.

Trying new wines

2011-10-02T03:19:00.000-07:00

We have been trying new wines at church for communion. For the last two weeks we have been using the Villager wine from Oyster River Winery. This week, Oct 2 we will be using the Come Spring wine from Savage Oaks. Here are a couple of pictures from our wine gathering, one from Savage Oaks and another from Sweetgrass Winery (whose wine we will be using on Oct 30th) Emily, Elias and Juliette are in the picture.

my humanity

2011-09-20T07:46:00.000-07:00

So much time is spent trying to understand, to analyze and predict.
So much energy is expended to make a point and to be understood.
What I am trying to express and what I am trying to understand is so often the avoidance of listening and experiencing what is actually before me.
Why is the experience of mortality so frightening?
For it is in the simplest and basic elements of life that the basics of my life are found.
And yet I try to find my meaning in more elaborate formulas and complex or newer ideas. I avoid the immediate pain of life out of fear, and am left with a more drawn out and isolating pain from my efforts.
James Baldwin has a quote I find very helpful:
Inability to love is the actual problem,
because that inability masks a certain terror,
and that terror is the terror of being touched.
And if you can’t be touched, you can’t be changed.
And if you can’t be changed, you can’t be alive.

Holy Cross Day thought

2011-09-14T16:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it is easier to focus on the suffering, the agony of Jesus than it is to actually carry our own cross. If my focus on the cross of Jesus leads me to understand better His love and sacrifice and strengthens me to carry my own cross and follow him than what a blessing it is to see that cross of Christ. If the agony, the suffering and the tragedy of Christ is what I focus on with a sense of interest and or obsession or even as a diversion from the confronting present experience of Christ, than the cross will only be a side trip from my own fascinations.

some thoughts on God

2011-09-09T10:07:00.000-07:00

It was not the bush, that was green and damp while fire was all around it, that changed Moses - it was that you knew his father.

Walking on the water, when they were about to sink, wasn’t what changed Jesus’ apostles, it was that you were not afraid.

It wasn’t the beauty of your home, a cathedral of beauty and glory, that changed everything about how I knew you and even knew my own self - it was that you knew what I had done and my struggles and that you loved me.

It is not all the memories and things you have done and the answers you have given that keeps changing me - it is that you are still here beside me in the darkness of my night.

the red ant

2011-09-06T08:21:00.000-07:00

My hands
Rip at the weeds
Pulling the roots out,
As whole as possible.
Digging
open
the wounded soil,
Turning the earth over and over,
Preparing for a new day
I dominate my domain.
One red ant,
Instinctive in courage,
Climbs to my wrist
And clings hard with his jaw,
With a bite of rebellion
And self defense.
I crush him
quickly.
Yet for days
His legacy remains;
Prophetically reminding me
Of those whose lives and homes
I just destroyed
In order to grow.

2011-09-05T08:08:00.001-07:00

Prayer for Rose

Almighty God, to you all hearts are open, all desires known, and from you no secrets are hid: Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, that we may perfectly love you, and worthily magnify your holy Name; through Christ our Lord. Amen

2011-09-05T08:07:00.000-07:00

How do you know when to take a poem out of the oven?

2011-08-31T13:53:00.001-07:00

Gathering together to pray and worship
Is the great affirmation
that we want to live and love;
And the revolutionary declaration
against the twin tyrannies
of apathy and avoidance.

Putting Prayers Out There

2011-08-22T14:27:00.000-07:00

There is a difference between a good idea and a good idea that someone acts upon. Things get done when someone speaks up, acts and follows through on the idea and inspiration. When we think up a good idea and let it go, perhaps even forgetting about it until someone else acts upon something like it, we can only blame ourselves and often feel frustrated.
So, too, I think it is with our prayers. When I offer to God my heart, my concerns, my longings and my hopes but just think it in my head, it is easy for me to wallow on it, say it again and again and have trouble letting it go. Speaking it out helps, writing it out is also good, saying it with someone else commits it to someone else's hearing. I have taken to writing prayers down onto fabric and flying them over my yard, not only for God to see but for me to see that I have put these deeply felt items into God's hands, onto God's strength. I might want to pray this again and again, but it is hanging for all the world to see that I have already hoisted these prayers. And as they fade in the sun I can feel them becoming more clearly known by the love and heart of Jesus. Thank you Lord.

Thanks be to God for the peach

2011-08-22T13:57:00.000-07:00

Blessed be God for the creation of the fresh ripe peach!
Oh, such delight and juice and sweetness that is not too sweet,
but just right.
Who could imagine, who could design,
who could produce from the elements of the stars
something so delicate, soft and perfect?
Only the God of mercy and beauty
and a God who obviously loves us so much to give us the peach.

2011-08-11T06:57:00.000-07:00

Days after getting off a week long boat trip, I find that I can still feel the waves moving beneath me. It is amazing how our body remembers such movement. It gets me thinking how much of our memory or ways of thinking, perceiving and reacting are a result of actions and experiences long over finished.

Steering a boat for me is an experience more complete than most vehicles for me, for I have a sense of the entire boat as part of my body, or me being one with the boat as it moves and steers through the water. From this experience I find it easier to see and experience the understanding of being one with the water and the wind. We are more connected than we can ever truly understand.

On a boat with a few people and very limited space one learns to move in small ways, to be accommodating and to be sensitive to others. One cannot get away, unless one is a very good swimmer. It is important to learn to live with each other, to get over personal issues and to be gracious. It has been my experience that sailors on submarines are the exceptionally kind and nice people, my limited boat experience can see how that would a submarine life would develop such characteristics. It is interesting how we so often lose this awareness upon the ship of land.

more pictures

2011-08-09T10:35:00.000-07:00

Here are a few more pictures of the trip, these are by Jacob Gerritsen, and are much better than my snapshots.

Just back from a wonderful trip on Ex Libris

2011-08-08T12:37:00.000-07:00

What a great week, we were escorted by dolphins and led home by an eagle. Through beautiful and blustery weather, with a boatload of singers serenading us and a concert, to great food and wonderful times together. We all took turns in the kitchen and steering and Jacob even got the spinnaker up on the last day. Bless the Lord! All is well. Here are a few snapshots I took.

fourth of july

2011-07-04T12:59:00.000-07:00

it has been more than a year that I have been keeping this blog. Wow. Back to the fourth of July in Thomaston. Elias and his band, Chaos Sauce, were in the parade and then played for several hours behind the block. For years they were the kids hanging out, now they are the band. When they were setting up on a flatbed outside the old Georges Valley High School, I became very nostalgic as I remembered them playing on a flatbed at the bonfire during their sophomore year there.

some poems from today's radio show

2011-06-30T07:36:00.000-07:00

From the poet Czesław Miłosz who was born on June 30, 1911
On Prayer
You ask me how to pray to someone who is not.
All I know is that prayer constructs a velvet bridge
And walking it we are aloft, as on a springboard,
Above landscapes the color of ripe gold
Transformed by a magic stopping of the sun.
That bridge leads to the shore of Reversal
Where everything is just the opposite and the word 'is'
Unveils a meaning we hardly envisioned.
Notice: I say we; there, every one, separately,
Feels compassion for others entangled in the flesh
And knows that if there is no other shore
We will walk that aerial bridge all the same.

From “A treatise on Poetry IV Natura
Pennsylvania 1948-49”
Yesterday a snake crossed the road at dusk.
Crushed by a tire, it writhed on the asphalt.
We are both the snake and the wheel.
There are two dimensions. Here is the unattainable
Truth of being, here, at the edge of lasting
and not lasting. Where the parallel lines intersect,
Time lifted above time by time.

a thought for the day

2011-06-17T13:01:00.000-07:00

Eating more food does not make one a better cook.

The Strangeness of "Shopping" for a Church

2011-06-09T07:48:00.000-07:00

Recently a family came to church and told me that they were “shopping for a church”. It rattled me to hear this. At first I wanted to say whatever they wanted to hear in order to win them over or “to sell” them on St. John’s. But then I found this troublesome. I think that they were probably using the wrong words to describe a process of discernment in regards to where they felt God calling them. But the words were there, and as such posed to me a great statement regarding faith in our culture. Are we looking to consume our faith, like other products?
I am an Episcopalian, not because I chose it out of all the others as the shiniest and prettiest product, but because it is where God has led me to serve. Despite the denomination's shortcomings I was called or led by God to serve in this community in the same way I am called to love the children who came into my life and the parents who were there to greet me at my birth. I love the music, the liturgy and have deep memories and family history here; but the core reason I am an Episcopalian is because it is where I have felt led and where I feel I need to contribute my gifts.
If we go to church to consume her programs, indulge in her beauty and art, and in order to meet or connect with people, we could possibly miss the deepest treasure of all. Like hanging around someone who might be of assistance or might have something for us and not realizing that this person could be the love of one’s life.

Time to pray

2011-06-04T04:21:00.001-07:00

We have learned how to use email, how to text message, how to leave messages on answering machines, how to communicate on facebook and twitter, how to writ pra e a resume, how to leave a note for a friend or family, how to write a thank you note, how to apply for a job, how to fill out a form, how to write a paper or essay; and yet so many of us feel completely inept at knowing how to pray.

There are many ways to pray and all it takes to learn how is to make the effort, practice and be open to learn. From the simple sentence prayer, to the ancient written prayers, to the spontaneous sharing of needs, to the thanksgiving at a meal, to the very carefully crafted prayer there is a wide range of ways to communicate in prayer. I have been very conscious recently about how much I have been both relying on the simple sentence prayers, such as the Jesus prayer, “Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God; have mercy on me.” At the same time as I am so often reciting these sentence refrains I am learning and practicing the very deliberate and careful process of created praying, taking the time to form and create a prayer that is a response, reflection and monument to my relationship with God at this time.

It is easy to go to my email and find other forms of communicating with everyone else around me, but I need to be very careful not to overlook myself and the most intimate and important relationship I will ever have - to seek to serve and be one with God.

Memorial day

2011-05-30T16:03:00.000-07:00

Finally a nice warm day. Jonas is wearing his Bobby Jenks shirt and the rooster is feeling the effects of spring as he is challenging anyone who comes into his yard.
We have a new gate into the garden and new steps by the back door. Yea, Roland.

spring work in the garden

2011-05-30T10:36:00.000-07:00

we have had a fair number of gray days so far with a late start for the garden. But simple blessings and surprises continue to abound.

morning thought

2011-05-29T03:39:00.001-07:00

The only thing wider than God's mercy is God's sense of humor.

Spring Haiku

2011-05-16T18:45:00.000-07:00

thinning the seedlings
on the tray by the window,
choosing life or death.

Haiku

2011-05-16T15:40:00.000-07:00

Stronger than water,
no greater power on earth,
mother and daughter.

Sermon summary for May 15 2011

2011-05-16T15:11:00.000-07:00

When I was in college I had an old Dodge 880 sedan car, with push button transmission. It was a beast, but it often needed work. Once right before I had to return home my alternator needed replacing and I was short twenty dollars for a new one. I went back to my room and was pondering my predicament until I finally started finishing up my school work. It must have been part of an assignment but I went to look something up in the supplemental scriptural text, the Apocrypha. When I opened it up a twenty dollar bill came out. It was kept there for a safe place apparently. I have always thought more highly of these texts after this experience. People have many times hidden or saved money in old bibles. There is a sense of finding a hidden treasure when we find such money, especially when it is unexpected. But the irony of it is that the words that are written in the Bible are of far more value than any amount of money laid within her pages.
Money is spent and saved, invested and used to build great monuments, but all these eventually pass on to others, and are destroyed, forgotten or used for other purposes. Yet the words of the scripture continue to inspire, console and transform our lives. A poem, like the 23rd psalm written almost three thousand years ago still is held deep within our lives. It is a monument in my heart like none other. Each word is crucial and treasured.
The opening word, “the” is critical. It is not referring to “a” lord, or “some” lord, or lord which may be someones name. In fact the poem begins with the exclamation of address referring to “THE” Lord, one who is singular and unique. Each word of this psalm continues to press into a mold within me that then is opened into a pillar of strength for me. The “is” reminds me that God is not just about what happened to others or in my past but is active now, alive. And in my dark hours I hold onto each word, one at a time, to reflect upon and polish within my heart and mind allowing me to resume my sleep and know that God is watching over all.
Again and again I pray for health, and support, financial aid or guidance both for others and for myself. And all the while, while I pray and seek the response of God I find that the treasure and answer is and has been with me all along. The words of scripture are the constant reminder of the word made flesh in the person of Jesus and the basis of Christianity. The living word, the active opportunity of love upon my life is ever present, only waiting to be seen, embraced, read, and added into my heart like yeast to make my actions a living bread for others.

Being Religious and Being Spiritual

2011-05-06T12:07:00.000-07:00

More and more I hear of someone telling me that they are spiritual, but not religious. In asking for more information about this distinction I find that when one is spiritual that they are open and interested and engaged in the inner life and the working of God or one’s higher power. The distinction then leads to one not being “religious” or not being part of a religious organization.
The more I have reflected on this distinction the more trouble I have with it. It appears to me like one who loves to cook but does not host parties, nor work in a restaurant, nor share this gift. Or one who is inclined to care for, teach and nurture children, but is not part of a school, nor entrusted with children. Bringing one’s gift’s into relationship with the larger community is very important.
The reciprocal is also interesting to me, and I find it equally troubling. When one is engaged in organized religion and yet is not open spiritually it seems to me like one in a relationship who finds it tedious or a teacher who simply is working towards a retirement.
I understand that organized religion, like education, politics, health care or other organized activities of life, has a long history of abuse and manipulation. But then organized religion, as well as these other ventures in life, have a long history of great people and efforts that have bettered our common life. Where are we going to stand, what are we going to be working towards?

2011-04-26T19:08:00.000-07:00

I start my radio show this Thursday morning on WRFRlp- 93.3 Rockland, you can also stream it on the web.

Thursday Matins - 7 a.m. - 8 a.m. Thursday mornings

This is a morning show celebrating the written and spoken word with poetry, prayers, lyrics, and more every Thursday morning at 7 a.m. with Peter Jenks and friends. Designed to begin the day with insights and encouragement. Always open for input, ideas, stories and poetry to share.

Easter Sunrise again

2011-04-26T18:17:00.000-07:00

There is something to be said for annual sunrise services on Easter morning. For one thing, in Maine, it is a time for the hearty and well bundled worshiper as it is usually very cold, rainy or snowy. But whatever the weather there seems to be the same faithful people that come every year. It is a time when we all gather and somehow by meeting, in some cases, this only once a year - year after year- we have gotten to know each other.
In remembering the resurrection of Jesus I am struck by the fact that those who were there knew him from years of being together. Mary Magdelene, Peter and John were all close to Jesus. These people were close friends. This amazing day did not come out of the blue by people unknown, it came through the hard and painful experiences of people who were close to each other.
So often my prayers are for a magical answer or solution, a miracle to get me or someone I know out of an illness or financial crisis. I want a remedy or rescue from this mortal existence. But Jesus went to the end of the human journey, through fear, betrayal, pain, suffering and ultimately lost his life. It was by going more fully into the human drama and experience that he was able to lead the way for others. His choice was to celebrate together with those he loved at the dinner table, the established way of thinking and social structures wanted to blame and find a victim. Jesus kept going in his mortal journey of love.
Returning again to the sunrise service I am struck by the familiar faces and the struggles in our lives now. It is in these journeys that we are all working through that we might find the miracles and deeper dimensions of love that carry us as well through our fear.

a trip to Scotland

2011-04-20T14:30:00.000-07:00

Returning from a wonderful trip to Scotland, it is fun to look at the photos. Some things were very moving, somethings very interesting and somethings new. The wedding was a deep joy and blessing and seeing Anna and Ewan in love is wonderful. Seeing my sister and her husband Mark at the wedding of their daughter was a treat. Family moments like this are sometimes too rare. The "wee little train" as Anna calls the subway in Glasgow is just that, what a unique subway - though very efficient. And we got to go to the Glasgow Botantical gardens which are great, and their annual orchid show - which had a most tiny orchid. Life holds many surprises and many blessings. It is beautiful when we are aware enough to actually take note of them.

Different cultures at the gate

2011-04-20T11:19:00.000-07:00

We just returned from Scotland and flying back from one country to another it became evident how different cultures view activities. At the Glasgow airport we arrived at the gate and there were 10 gate agents there checking tickets, directing people to where they needed to go, or just pacing back and forth. It was a bit comical and from my perspective some of the positions were a bit redundant. Then when we arrived at Newark airport we were waiting for another plane. There was not a gate agent in sight for any of a dozen gates. One of the gates had three flights delayed and filled with frustrated and angry people. The lone agent that tried to work the gate finally was so overwhelmed, underequipped and kept out of any tools to actually help the situation that it was simply tragic. It was my experience that the anger came from the lack of honesty in the way we were treated. The airline knew that the flight was going to be at least an hour late, yet would never post such information. In the United Kingdom people were seen as passengers and treated very well, probably too nicely and with too many people caring for them. In the United States efficiency was what was most important and people were called customers and seen as a problem. Employing people was obviously something that was to be avoided at all costs in order to save money. Part of the problem is that people want to fly as cheaply as possible, another side of this is that stockholders have overridden any integrity of the product for immediate gain.

We each have a piece

2011-04-10T17:55:00.000-07:00

Problems have the potential of turning into possibilities. In the fall of 1993, it was discovered that the back foundation of my house was falling in on itself. In the challenge of repairing it I was very thankful for my neighbor, Al LaPlante, who was agreeable to being hired for the job and agreed to put up with me as an assistant. Not only was the wall reinforced but we were able to get to know each other, a gift far greater than simply the job at hand.
During this repair we had much time to talk. Al shared his sorrow at meeting a young man in town who was basically kicked out of his house when mom got a new boyfriend and Al met this young man as he was out walking around the town around 4 in the morning. In talking it was clear to us that growing up in a small town could either be a grand experience and opportunity or a nightmare that just spirals downward.
As a pastor of a church, I was aware of many people who had moved to the area and who had not gone to the local schools, nor had their children go to the local schools. There were differing worlds living side by side of people who grew up here and who moved here but really didn't have a way of meeting the young people they met day to day at the stores and on the streets. If there was a way to connect some of these people, various adults who have a wealth of experience, insights and concern with some of the young people who were slipping through the cracks and sometimes falling headlong into the chasm of self destruction created by limited options and negative stereotypes and we might make a big difference. I wondered at how we could bring these various worlds together, how we could get out of town and spend time together. Al, who was also a Maine guide, suggested we go out into the woods somewhere.
The idea kept brewing within me, but didn't know where to go or how to take the next step, until I met Jack Carpenter who had recently moved to the area. His deep commitment to youth in need and his understanding of the great role a mentor could make in a young person's life was the match that made an idle idea take fire.
Al saw the need and was willing to share his concern, I could see a possibility and a vision, and then there was Jack who could make things happen. We each had a piece, and it was only in sharing our limitations that led to the others with the gifts to take it further that made this happen. We each added our piece and since then many others have added their gifts, especially Don Carpenter who has made this program into a reality and a force that has helped mold a community. Check it out at Trekkersonline.com

Returning and Rest

2011-04-10T17:47:00.001-07:00

It is my experience that returning from a sabbatical is like trying to jump on a train which is going full speed (at best), or a plane in mid flight (at worst). The months before and after a sabbatical tend to be quite busy and full. It is also a time when change is in the air and I have found that it is important to take time to process the changes that are occurring. One of the big changes for us at St. John’s is the upcoming departure of Deborah McKean as our deacon. She and her husband, Phil, are moving to California in late April. They will be back for awhile this summer and we will have a time to officially thank her for all that she has been and done for us.
There were several things I gained from sabbatical that I saw as being very important, and things I want to be deliberate in nurturing in the midst of the busyness and change. The first thing is the extreme importance of worship in our lives. Traveling to other churches and not having to worry about details found me immersed in the joy of worship. If we do not have healthy worship it will manifest itself in unhealthy ways and attach itself to things not meant to be worshiped. The other discovery I found again is at the root of everything for me and that is how wonderful and life changing it is to be loved by and to love our Lord Jesus. As in any relationship, it is easy to find ourselves lost in the day to day frustrations and challenges; to be blinded by familiarity and expectations. Getting away and seeing each other in new ways and remembering the profound delight and love between two people is a treasure.

To do so with the source of our very life and love is even more brilliant. We have a jewel, a potential and a gift that is far more precious than water or breath in the forgiving reality of the love of Jesus. The experience of this faith, this encounter, has been guiding people for thousands of years, and with that we so often only look at ways it has been misused.

To meet again and discover anew this love is our daily opportunity.

- the Rev. Peter Jenks

Our daily bread

2011-03-21T07:46:00.001-07:00

I remember my grandmother making bread when I was little, it is a deep memory and the smell can bring me back in a heartbeat. But most of my life I have eaten my bread from the big grocery stores with long aisles and brought home with jammed bags that I hope won't completely flatten the bread substance. But over the last couple of decades I have slowly been awakened to the joy of good bread. The arrival of Bodacious, now Borealis Bread was like fresh air coming in the house after a long closed up winter. Now we also have Atlantic Bakery and other local bakeries. It shouldn't be a surprise to rediscover what human have had for millions of years, but it just kind of got lost in the wake of the supermarket machinery of modern convenience. But buying bread from the baker is now one of my local delights. Seeing the people covered in flour in the bake room and the various loaves on display is such a rich addition to life here. The convenience of one stop
shopping to get everything I need is not as valuable to me anymore as taking a bit longer and adding another stop to get some bread or now even think of shopping as a process, with many visits. It all seems so basic, so primal and somehow it seems to connect me more with my food and where I am living. Eating fresh bread is one of my great delights and I thank heartily those local bakers who make my life so much richer here.

Radio Show

2011-03-11T12:58:00.001-08:00

For several months now I have been praying and thinking about doing a weekly radio show at our local low frequency station. At the beginning of my sabbatical I was interviewed at the station and found it to be facinating. Then later around Christmas time I read “A Child's Christmas in Wales” with the great local story teller-dramatist Erika Pfander on the station. And then one morning I was listening to Garrison Keiler's morning show at 9 am where he reads and talks about various literary figures and reads a poem. I am always left wanting more. So I thought it would be an interesting idea to do a show where I start out reading prayers, texts to hymns and psalms and bring up what went on this day in history literary and artistically, and read poems, recipes and short stories.
I do need sponsors, though. They want people, businesses, or groups to sponsor shows at 30 dollars a month. If anyone would be interested let me know - peter_jenks@yahoo.com I would also find it great to work with others and to read poems and works people have written, and or your favorites. The station is WRFRlp in Rockland, they stream it on the internet as well, check them out. I want to do a morning show, perhaps Thursday.

No News is Good News

2011-03-01T13:59:00.000-08:00

In the process of having a sabbatical one has time to look within, to deal with things that have been put off for other more pressing concerns or because one does not want to deal with them.
In these last weeks of my sabbatical I have found that there are two aspects of my life that have been an issue for me and yet never urgent enough to be immediately addressed. One is my daily reading of the news and another is my daily coffee. Neither of which I would put into an evil force, in fact both help me feel connected with others and the world about me, as I drink coffee with others and chat about the events in the world about us. Yet coffee is still a substance that a colleague has referred to as “Christian speed”. My daily cups of coffee can seem justified, but also can be seen as a habit an unnecessary stimulant and something to look at in my life. Within Buddhist tradition it is seen as a forbidden or harmful element. Getting off coffee, or at least cutting it down to the point where I will only have an occasional cup was in fact hard at first. There was a caffeine need, ever so subtle, that was pulling at me. I have moved to the occasional cup and found it refreshing.
The other issue that has come up in the last days of my sabbatical is my daily reading of the news. It always seemed like a good thing for me to be connected to what is going on in the world. But with computer news it can suck up great amounts of time. And I have found that news generally only confirms what I already believe. I may be gathering new bits of information but only reinforcing already held positions. And in fact these positions only get more entrenched with the more news I read. Books are my new friend, again. And it is keeping me off the computer which has kept me from updating my blog. I am also taking time to read poetry every day instead of the news. It is giving me a much more enhanced view of my immediate world. In a time of great change I find it hard to actually embrace the change for myself. It is easy to see what is happening around me and to fight or take sides. But as a Christian, I find that the hope of redemption and forgiveness always leads me back to that wonderful and freeing cleansing of repentance. So instead of getting angry with the news pundits who I wish would repent and gain some intelligence I simply look within and repent from the news, with my herbal tea and book of poetry.

Different ways of Sharing

2011-01-31T09:12:00.000-08:00

This last year my wife, Emily, has been able to have another person help teach dance at her Dance School - The Rockland School of Ballet. I am always amazed at the people I meet, especially in such a rural location as is here in Maine. Morrigan McCarthy, the new dance teacher, and her partner are also photograhers and world travelers via bicycles. I have added their website to my general links section (geographyofyouth.org). Their group is called Restless Collective and they have some very interesting pictures and stories to tell.

It got me thinking, Restless Collective and the Kickstart program, which they are using to help them raise funds for their travels, is helping people to get their programs started and off the ground - what about helping people with ideas. Perhaps there are people with a heart to do something, but need some ideas to start their wheels turning. While reading their blog I started to wonder whether there were people who would like to do something but are not sure what they might do.

One idea I quickly came up with was to have someone travel around the world to document how modern technology has effected local culture, especially music and dance. Are local cultures being lost to the international venues of communication, or are new ways, sounds and dance emerging. There seems to be various artists who want to tour and promote their work, but it would be interesting to me to have someone travel around to various groups to write up a blog, description and log about what is going on. (My guess is that there is probably something like this already going on, and perhaps someone can link me to it.)

We are living in a very different world because of the way we can communicate and share with each other ideas, opportunities and collaborations. There are some very exciting things going on and I find it inspiring. There are times when I can view my small little rural world as a backwater and place where not much is going on, then I find myself surprised by the vast array of great people doing life changing things all around me. Nothing has changed except my perception in this whole process.

Seasoning Life

2011-01-26T02:25:00.000-08:00

Recently I have been made more aware of the blessings and need to eat food which is in season. There is a temptation with our modern age to eat whatever we want, whenever we want because it is available. But this availability has come at a cost. To have apples fresh all year means massive shipping costs. Also it does not allow for the variation of diet. Like letting the field lie fallow for a season to rest. And it assumes that my momentary desires know what is best for me. And it gives me the illusion that somehow I deserve to have whatever I want whenever I want it. There is much to be gained by waiting for those things in due season.
And from this recent learning I am starting to think that there are more lessons to be gained from living “seasonally” than just in my diet. It is cold now in the midst of winter. I live in a world of modern conveniences like furnaces. In a way I have come to expect a world of general comfort. There is a range of temperature that is acceptable to me, and the furnace will keep it that way, or an air conditioner in the summer will bring the heat down to the acceptable range. But is this acceptable range limiting me? When it is winter, it is cold. Am I missing something not to have to put on and leave on more clothes and adapt to the weather in my neighborhood? And likewise, is it bad to be hot, to slow down and perhaps rest in the heat of the day? I find that as I pay more attention to the seasonal weather, I complain about it less. When it is very cold, I remember the hot days and know they will return.
When I live without the restraints of my local food and climate I find that I do not need my local community as much, either. And with this lack of need for those around me I find that I am more isolated. Relying on seasonal food means I rely upon local farmers and not those in Chile or California. While I am trying to stay warm I find myself checking in with others more or wanting to spend more time one on one with people over a cup of tea or coffee. It is a wonderful time to reflect and deepen friendship. The weather causes me to slow down, work harder, and pay attention to what is around me. I would hate to miss the diamonds underfoot while in search for gold elsewhere.

The Bible

2011-01-25T07:02:00.000-08:00

Recently I watched a seminar on “Reading the Bible Through Other Eyes”. In this conference each of the presenters was asked what the Bible meant to them or how they read it. I found their answers very revealing as to who these people were and how they viewed life. This moved me to want to formulate my own answer to this question. In doing this I have also found that I am formulating my understanding of my art or my calling.
Before summarizing my answer I want to list a number of ways in which I have heard or known people to read the bible or for that matter other literature. This list is in no way meant to be exhaustive, only what I could think of at this time.

Historical - The stories of what has happened in the past are always engaging and educational. I love to be taken back into another time to learn what went on and how people managed in various times. The Bible has much history and is a great source for our understanding of antiquity.

Literature - There are great stories which are told with sheer brilliance of language. These stories become so well known and told that to change them would cause outrage. There are a number of great stories in the Bible which fit into this category.

Self Help Manuel - Answering the questions we have on how to do something is a very basic form of writing. When they are poorly done we languish, when they are written well we can get on with our lives enriched. How to drive, to cook, to stay healthy, to improve ourselves and how to live better are all such works. The Bible is sometimes referred to as a manuel for life, a book that tells us how to live better.

Law Book - These I find to be the most tedious books of all, yet crucial to a well run and civil society. The Bible is no exception, its rules and laws are sometimes the least read chapters, and only quoted when one wants others to do what they want. It is important to have people who know not just the letter of the law but the meaning and overall intent.

Poetic - Poetry is so often lost in our modern society. It is, though, so wonderful. To express clearly and in ways yet spoken the heart and vision of our being is a great gift. The various Psalms and poetry within the Scriptures has carried millions through their darkest hours.

Inspirational - Perhaps this type of a reading or writing is simply a combination of any of the before mentioned writing, but it is what opens us up to different ways of thinking and to move beyond the oftentimes limited views that seem to encumber our everyday living. Much of the Bible has such writing and I have often found great inspiration from her text.

Mythic - There are archtypes and heros, villians and evil on a level that transcends any one time or place. There are characters that define an action or a story that is retold in thousands of different ways and whose name carries the story. The suffering of Job is a clear example. The Bible has many such stories and these and the stories of myth and archtypes are very helpful in our understanding of our souls and psychologies.

Now to the harder part of this exercise; listing the other ways is an easy distraction. I do read the Bible in all of the previously mentioned ways, as I read other poetry, literature, history, etc. Sometimes the Bible is my beacon and then other times another writer or poet will be my hearts delight and star.

What sets out the Bible for me as more than simply a work of literature or an anthology of great writings is something more unique. There is an invitation in Scripture; a stage has been set with great writers, sinners, leaders, everyday folk, and I am called to join them upon the stage. So many great books end and I want more, the Bible brings me onto the stage with these people who are my companions, not in fiction but in a real and mysterious way, and I need to carry the story on. I am not just the reader but part of the authorship. I am not just an observer but a member of the family, clan, and story itself. It is not just a fantasy of mine to imagine myself in the stories but what I do is in fact part of the stories, it is my story and as it is others my life is made one or understood as part of a larger whole of the experience of life here on this small planet. It is not just a book, but the world in which I live, the love I have come to know; the words put into books with varying translations are simply a reflection or image of this reality I have come to know. Just as we are an image of God.

Life from life

2011-01-24T14:58:00.000-08:00

I have been taught recently to read the ingredients. The more the ingredient the less likely it will be good for me and that I should be cautious of food products that have chemical ingredients and not simple food as ingredients. But this has gotten me thinking, all from eating a beet at lunch. The beet was something that was growing, a life energy rooted in the soil that we picked and then cooked. I stopped it growing by picking it. As I ate it I knew I was eating something that was living and in a sense gave up its life for my sustenance. I cannot think of any food that has not done this for me. It is only the foods that we have created in laboratories that might be an exception, but even in this food there might have to be a life energy to make it food. I do not know this process well enough to know really anything about such products. But it was clear to me that we need life to sustain life. As we eat the things of this earth we continue and sustain life. There are those things that have died naturally, an apply falling from a tree that I might pick up and eat. But my eating it keeps the seeds from forming a new tree. The life giving nature of our food is something we give thanks for in our blessings we use as we pause before eating, and the source of life who provides for this bounty. Ultimately it is said we become the food of ants and worms; a friend asked me to bury him with an acorn in so that a tree might grow from where he will fertilize the soil. We need life, other’s life for us to survive. It is not hard for me to carry this thought our further in lines of being raised by the lives of our parents; to the taxes paid by others to ensure my safety, education and well being; to the time and energy the people we love now offer to us and make our life meaningful. We need other’s life energy to sustain us, and with such we need to share our energy, through our prayers and work, in order to make our life meaningful and life-giving to others. It is the relay race, the great procession of a river or the cycle of interwoven energies that makes the one life which is teeming upon this planet made by God, and perhaps it is that collective life sustaining and perpetuating energy that is the image of God, as spoken of in Scripture.

A Time Away

2011-01-22T05:13:00.000-08:00

Life can be filled with long stretches of waiting, waiting and wondering. Then suddenly everything seems to happen all at once. It is important to pay attention, listen, appreciate and reflect during the sometimes impatient times of waiting. After a very busy Christmas with many of our children, we took our youngest off to college and then a whirlwind excursion to see just about everyone in our family we could make it too. Leaving Minnesota for another time. It has been almost a week back and I still have no idea where I am when I wake up. I do miss going through airport security several times a day, the lines, the ritual of taking things off, hurrying along and being scanned is such a rewarding experience. Then the fast racing to gates and then long waits are good to watch human nature at play. I especially like how when plans stop at the gate everyone seems to get up and get on their mark to exit, even at the back of the plane where it is obvious that the wait will be a long time. I was also amused at how some airports (like LAX) have no way to move from one terminal to another without going through security. It is something that would easily speed up security lines, make peoples lives easier, and help airline schedules with a few buses - which are already making loops outside. I do no believe I am the first to notice this. It is always amazing to think, though, that we can span the continent in a matter of hours. It is truly amazing. Likewise it is amazing to me that I would be willing to get into a big metal cylinder filled with high octane fuel, which is ignited and sent up in the air at very high altitudes. And how so many airports all look alike, leaving one to know where one is by the names of the little restaurants one passes with local style names. All in all it is important to see family, I miss them when apart - which is so very often. Skype is good, but nothing can replace a hug and a smile face to face.

In A Special Time

2010-12-19T12:29:00.000-08:00

Over the last few weeks I have been blessed greatly by the preaching of some local pastors. It is not always the case in small rural areas to have top quality preachers in small congregations, but that is not the case now in Rockland. Having recently attended the Rockland Congregational Church with the Rev. Seth Jones preaching, St. Peter’s Episcopal Church with the Rev. Glenn Mehaffey preaching and then the Rockland Unitarian Church with the Rev. Mark Glovin preaching; I was suddenly struck by how amazing it is to have such talent in our small area. These preachers are quite good. In an age of packaged and recorded listening it is a rare and precious gift to hear high quality live oration. These pastors are very blessed and as such are deeply enriching our local community. My only concern is that the local congregations might miss the blessing that is before them. I felt this way with the Rev. Amita Jarmen, the rabbi we had for awhile. She was an amazing addition to our community, yet alas found it difficult to stay here. I was encouraged to see that Mark Glovin is just starting a sabbatical, such time away can only enhance his gifts and strengthen the community of the Unitarian Church, it does mean we will lose his voice for a few months. But for a few months away might mean a much longer time here in our midst.

Very Thankful

2010-12-12T03:26:00.000-08:00

There are a number of people who have stepped up and are doing great work at St. John’s during this time of sabbatical. People who have opened doors for change and made sure that the constant dedication to being faithful to our Lord remains. I am most thankful and appreciative.
From Susan Watkins and the vestry to Deborah McKean and the liturgy committee to Maureen in the office to Lysbeth in the kitchen to Kathy and the Altar Guild to Sandor and the facilities to Mariedenise and the fair and all her new ideas to the faithful bookstudy to the diehard 8 a.m. crowd to those who are supplying on Sunday mornings and whose sermons I get rave reviews about as I meet people in stores and many, many more; there are some great work of the Holy Spirit at foot. It is so amazing, and I am so thankful.

Sunday worship - December 5th

2010-12-05T10:34:00.000-08:00

This morning it snowed, only a sprinkle, and I went to the Penobscot Bay Family Church. They meet on the top floor of the Thomaston Academy building. It was a small gathering, but a good time of worship. The pastor has a wonderful music ministry, he plays the keyboard and sings many songs he has written. The music was contemporary and very worshipful. His message was very thoughtful and full of examples and mostly about the right use of money and how we are to serve God, not money. I have found that the size of the congregation has nothing to do with the opportunity for God to touch my heart. In fact it is in the smaller gatherings that oftentimes open me up more to the intimate need of grace in my life.
The pastor, Steve Young, is very devout and forceful in his faith. There is a refreshing air and a challenge to go deeper into one’s commitment to faith in his message.
As an aside, I found it interesting and reassuring as I walked to the church I saw all the cars at the Roman Catholic Church for their service, and as I left there were cars at the Missionary Baptist Church across the street. To be part of a town and people gathering for prayer, taking time to praise God for our blessings and face our challenges and to be part of what is going on at this time in life was very good. Staying home on a Sunday morning is like staying home during the big high school football or soccer game, or town meeting or Fourth of July parade. It is an option, but one does miss what is going on in the life of one’s community. In a world that is so divided and isolated I think it is even more important to make an effort to be alive and a part of the common good.

The Dirty Bowl

2010-12-02T13:24:00.000-08:00

A child made some soup last night for a late dinner. It is nice when they are self sufficient. After the dinner this child brought the bowl of soup and various utensils into the kitchen and left them on the counter. This is so much better than leaving them around the house or on the table. In fact I am sure this child thought they were doing a very helpful thing to bring the dishes into the kitchen. The only problem was that by the next morning the bowl had dried up and I needed to clean it out some before putting it in the dishwasher. And the little bit of soup with a burned bottom needed to be put into something else.
It got me to thinking, how many things do I do that I feel are very helpful or good deeds that in fact are only about eighty percent done. Deeds that in fact leave more for others in the long run. There are probably many areas of my life that are not carried out all the way, and I feel like I have done good things, and yet not all the way. How much of my efforts of love are good efforts but cause others to pick up the pieces or meet me part way just to receive my good intentions? How much of my prayers and acts of devotion with God are really only part efforts, causing or expecting God to finish off what I started?
It was a dirty bowl that was left for me to finish cleaning, yet it was also a wonderful gift that helped me see myself more clearly. How many of my actions that I feel are shortsighted end up also being additional unforeseen gifts to others as well?

A visit to the mosque

2010-11-20T06:30:00.001-08:00

I went to a mosque for the first time. It is very interesting and helpful in all the discussion of different religions and world events to meet people and get to know what is going on firsthand and not just spout opinions.
The first thing that I noticed that caused me to laugh was their address. It is a bit more difficult to find them, and I can understand this, as we live in a country that either feels threatened by Islam or wishes to threaten Muslims. When they emailed me their location and address it looked familiar. It was pointed out to me that it was next door to where my son lives in Orono, and that was why the address was familiar. We live in a small world.
I was impressed by their service. They were a remarkably welcoming and friendly group of people, more than willing to greet me and to have me join them. I was made to feel at home and I stood and sat as they prayed, but did not join in as I am not a Muslim, nor a member of their congregation. There were many similarities that were shared between us as we talked about maintaining a religious community and the issues that arise in doing such. They were planning for a big congregational dinner that night, with all that comes with such an event.
For the worship I felt that they were very similar to the Russian Orthodox in that there were very, very few seats. I was also struck by the much larger ratio of men to women than in most churches. The service was very simple with prayers and a sermon. It was very Protestant in its starkness in space, or perhaps more of a Buddhist simplicity. They would not see it as such, rather an adherence to the teaching of the prophet in the Koran. There was a fair bit of Arabic spoken, which I did not understand. But it was a nice time to be still, listen and offer my own prayers. Many of the people were from different countries or perhaps not mostly white, like most of Maine. I found that very refreshing and a very good thing reminding me of the time I lived in New York City.
Theologically I thought that they had much in common with more evangelical and fundamentalist churches. Both groups look to their sacred book, the Bible or Koran, as the final say that cannot be challenged or reinterpreted. Both feel very certain of the truth and rightness of their holy word and relationship with it. Though both would not want to be associated with the other theologically in any way.
A young woman helped explain much of the practical aspects of the faith and the role of women, which our western society has stereotyped and misunderstood in many ways. There are issues to address and yet so is there everywhere.
The meeting of these good people was a great blessing. I pray that their new facilities and growing community does well. Knowing the people, not just the ideas is very important. I feel blessed for having gone. I also hope to go back with a group of young people in a few months.

The Invitation of Change

2010-11-12T04:47:00.000-08:00

There is much talk and awareness of the need for change in the church. In fact there is an awareness of great changes going on all around us in our society, in education, healthcare, politics, economics, and our general way of life.

I have time now to look at what is going on in my life and the world around me. Several thoughts have struck me recently. There is great energy being spent on the new directions in the church, where we should go, what does this new way look like and how will it effect us. There is also a goodly amount of energy being spent holding onto what we have been doing, what we have come to know and how we have been doing things.

On a very personal level I am seeing that when change has happened in my life that I would understand to be wonderful, life-giving or of the Holy Spirit, it seems to always reveal more of really who I am to myself. I may come to differing opinions or attitudes but I somehow become more of who I am and enter more deeply into what I know of love. If mercy and forgiveness and understanding are not factors in my change than it seems that nothing really has changed.

My life is defined by an experience of love found in God who has become manifest in our world in who I have come to know as Jesus. This person, this God made flesh is the source of my love and hope. So I am finding that in all the discussions of change within the church and world about me, perhaps this is only an invitation, written upon the events of the world, for me to enter more deeply into this forgiveness and mercy and come to know more deeply my Lord Jesus.

Maybe the words of my prayers might part enough that I might see more clearly the eyes of God looking upon me and giving me strength to look back with a more clear understanding of who I am.

The Need to Meet

2010-11-06T01:20:00.000-07:00

There is a part of me that delights and wallows in times of quiet and solitude. But I again and again hear in my quiet times with my Lord that it is essential to be a part of the larger body of Christ, to meet with others, hear others, share with others and be there.

The Sabbatical Journey

2010-11-06T01:10:00.000-07:00

It is a bit daunting to begin a sabbatical, especially one which is done in relationship with a larger community. At the base of a sabbatical is the need to return and renew, to rediscover the love and passion for Jesus. After years of ministry there have developed patterns of work and ways of getting things done. The simple act of preaching every week is one that develops a pattern of research and a library of thoughts that might be effective but they can become a hindrance to new ways, thoughts, and engagement with God. The comparison to a long time marriage is very helpful to me. Over time a couple develop a style of living with each other, it is easy to simply take the other for granted. After years of such living a retreat or time together to meet each other apart from these established patterns might bring up new aspects and changes that have emerged unnoticed by perhaps both people. How do they fall in love again, will they fall in love again and what changes will that bring? Do I want to face the changes that might emerge from a new look at my life with my God, the love of all that I am. Am I willing to open up again all that I am? It is what will bring me to new depths of love and of myself, I know, but do I really want to go there or do I want to stay in the familiar?

My familiar stresses, concerns, worry and prayers that I have befriended are old companions. I long for God to answer prayers I have held before Him for years, yet do I want to re-think and re-structure my habits and communicate more openly with others about this very private work?
I find myself a bit nervous as well as excited. It is one thing to long to be in love, but then to be in the moment when one needs to act upon it is unnerving.

I am also finding that the letting go of all the details of my work is a hard thing and something that is taking time.

Haiku

2010-11-02T16:53:00.000-07:00

salt without rice sticks
and won't come out when needed,
love without talking.

Anger and Guilt

2010-11-02T16:49:00.000-07:00

It seems to me that both anger and guilt can be good things in very small doses but generally they serve as a banner or flag as to where inner work needs to be done in our lives.

When there is a true injustice, anger can be a good thing to motivate us to respond and speak up for what we know to be true and just. Likewise a guilt that gets us to get out of bed and do something or that motivates us to apologize for something we did or said is a good thing.
But most often guilt and anger just gets our minds and emotions spinning around. I have noticed during this last election season that things would be done or said that just ignited an anger in me. Sometimes it was a blatant lie or just a plan stupid statement that was being taken seriously and unquestioned. I would rant for a bit and find myself spinning around and caught up in the seasonal rancor. What was it that was happening, what was in my soul, life or heart that somehow reverberated by the outer circumstances. My experience is that anger in politics or in sports is a great way to get motivated to play and participate, but it can be too easily manipulated and turn on one in the midst of the game or election. Anger is also the great emotion that gets in the way of the true emotion that needs to be heard.

Guilt, likewise, can keep me from doing the things I need to do. It will just fester making me feel more and more inadequate. And when guilt and anger mix it is a very toxic cocktail for our health, as we add stress and frustration to a situation in which we just keep fermenting.

Music and humor are the best antidotes for me. To listen to soothing music or to simply start whistling or humming a song as I walk helps greatly. And most of all to see where and how God is going to twist things is important to me, no matter how badly or frustrated I get in the midst of elections. God’s sense of humor is far greater and more cunning than any crisis or catastrophe we can create. Much of the universe I think is propelled by the laughter of God. It is why the universe is constantly expanding.

2010-10-21T01:48:00.000-07:00

Some thoughts poems and idle writing posted while I feel overwhelmed in preparing for my sabbatical

2010-10-21T01:35:00.000-07:00

The hardest person for me to see
Is the person standing in front of me.

Do fish dream of walking and taking a constitutional stroll,
Like I dream of swimming like a fish?

When my distractions blink
I am stunned by the sight of you
When my opinions pause
the flash of love’s flesh stuns me
When I stop avoiding doing the things I fear to do
you are still there beside me

Way beyond my longings
Before the boundary of avoidance
Lies the remarkable
Present
Moment.
of you

DEFINITION
We are defined by our relationships:
The people we love,
And the people we hate;
The people we forgive,
And the people we ignore.
We are defined by our relationships:
Those things we eat,
And those things which revolt us
Those things we cherish,
And our trash.
We are defined by our relationships:
The animals we tame,
And the creatures we fear;
The life that leaves us in awe,
And that which we cause to be extinct without our concern.
We are defined by our relationships:
How we let go
And how we hold on;
How we become one
And how we keep separate.
We are defined by our relationships:
Who we serve
And who we expect to serve us;
Who is our God
And who is our neighbor.

I aint got nothing to do baby,
and I'd like to do that nothing with you.
I aint got nothing to say baby,
and I'd like to say that nothing with you.
I aint got noplace to go baby,
and I'd like to go that nowhere with you.
I aint got nothing to wear baby,
And I'd like to wear that nothing with you.

In the security of God

2010-09-24T00:52:00.000-07:00

When I was starting as a young priest, often I would look at those who had been in the ministry for many years and feel so inadequate, with so much to learn. They knew what to do in all sorts of situations that I was just experiencing for the first time. They had answers and insights for conflicts which often left me baffled. Their wisdom and faith was an inspiration to me. Every new situation was such that my own resources led me to rely solely upon a leading of God and those whom God had placed as examples to me.
As I got older and more involved in the life of the church and community I found that more and more I could cope and have something to offer. Experience does help in facing challenges. I had fewer models and mentors, and more confidence and assurance. I had things to offer the people of the church, sometimes it was seen by others and sometimes I simply felt the assurance of my abilities and value in my own understanding.
Recently I found myself moving into a new dimension of my journey in the priesthood, one that is probably not unique to me. There are very few mentors and elders for me to look to for guidance. The confidence I felt has passed with some age, and any list of accomplishments I might post on a resume does not impress me or give me any sense of identity anymore. The words of Scripture were the source and inspiration for what I once wrote and preached. Now they are all I want hold onto, and what I might write or say seems only an interlude or a pause before the need to dive back into the depth found in the stories and life of Scripture. It seems I have so little to say again, compared with the new wisdom of those entering the ministry and those with a drive to engage the engine of corporate ministry.
I find that a simple verse, such as Psalm 5:3 “In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation”, will be what I need or which speaks to where I find my confidence.

The Parable of the Unrighteous Steward

2010-09-21T09:44:00.000-07:00

Some people do not want to know things, such as a woman I worked with did not want to know how to make coffee. If she knew how, she feared, it would be expected of her to make it at the office.
Some people just cannot know something, no matter how hard they try; I am this way with advanced mathematical formulas. Some people know more than there is to know; when I read art reviews I sometimes wonder if all the deep insights were truly meant by the artist or if they were just accidents that were overly interpreted. And sometimes we do not know something now, but hope to know more about it later.
Jesus' parable about the unjust steward (Luke 16) is one of the most challenging passages in the New Testament. I have wondered sometime whether this parable was simply a good try by Jesus that just didn't work very well. It ends with several different endings, like scribes wanting to add their understanding to it, because they felt it was too difficult or obtuse to grasp. But it is in the Bible and attributed to Jesus, and as such needs to be taken seriously.
The parable is the story of a rich man who has a steward running his affairs, the steward is charged with being dishonest. The rich man decides to fire him. The steward, who is too proud to beg and too old to dig for a living goes out and makes deals with the rich man's debtors. To one he cuts the debt in half and to another by twenty percent. In doing so he is creating a network of friends and support. The rich man commends him for his shrewdness. Then one of the most puzzling passages of scripture ensues: “For the people of this world are shrewder in dealing with their own kind than are the people of the light. I tell you, use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourselves, so that when it is gone, you will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.” (verses 8,9). After this there is a couple of verses which are by Luke or someone puzzled by this parable adding that those who are faithful with a little are faithful with much and likewise by being
unfaithful with a little. And then another response is added to try again to understand this by saying that we cannot serve two masters, God and wealth.
If it were not for the lectionary, which schedules different passages of scripture to be read throughout the year, this passage would probably never be chosen by any preacher to be the centerpiece of a sermon.
Few commentaries have had much to say to help with this passage. And after much wrestling with this text I finally have two pieces of wisdom or insights where I feel God speaking to me.
One way is that we as Christians should not be naïve. I have a friend who is a Franciscan brother who won a lying contest; his lie was to the hypothetical situation of a Nazi officer at the door asking if there were any Jewish people in the house. My friend argued that in such cases a lie would be the best answer. Recently I heard a Christian being interviewed and asked the same question and she replied that she would tell the truth, knowing that God would work things out for the best. Being naïve to the ways of the world and evil in our midst is not always a good thing. Elsewhere Jesus encourages us to be wise as serpents, but innocent as doves (Matthew 10:16). We do not offer evil back, but we do not blindly go forward tempting God with our naïveté.
Secondly, we need to have the perspective of the heavenly in order to be able to have the distance to see things in such a way that they can be appreciated and not engross us with emotion or personal hurt, and thus cloud our vision. When in an election an opponent wins, can we have the ability to appreciate what they did well or are we so caught up in the hurt that we miss such a lesson? When a family member who always seems to upend an event does it again in a new way, can we have the objective perspective to appreciate the new creative tact that this person has devised? I have people coming to me for assistance, sometimes I have had people with very good stories lead me to assist them, only to find out that they have been making the rounds and I was duped. I have become hurt and angry at such moments, but really it is because I was duped and might look bad. To be able to have a heavenly distance in my perspective that allows me to see the con when it is given and even appreciate it when it is done well, but not to be caught up in it or let it envelope me and my time.
Grant us, Lord, not to be anxious about earthly things, but to love things heavenly; and even now, while we are placed among things that are passing away, to hold fast to those that shall endure; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen (Collect of the Day for Sunday, Sept. 19, 2010)

In Quietness and Confidence

2010-09-14T16:58:00.000-07:00

There is a line in an old prayer that says, "in quietness and in confidence shall be our strength". The time I take for quietness is certainly one of the pillars of ongoing strength for me, but the experience of confidence is sometimes more illusive. As I talk to God and ponder my days in quietness, doubts and uncertainties surface readily while the confidence I seek needs to be actively pursued.
When we get into a taxi we do not want to hear the driver tell us that he thinks he knows where he is going; or in a hospital, we don't want to hear a surgeon say that perhaps she knows what she is doing; in a vulnerable moment, we don't want to hear someone we love tell us that she thinks she loves us. These people may not be able to promise ultimate outcomes (there may be traffic detours, or complications in surgery or disagreements in relationships) but past experience and a measure of confidence can provide much assurance.
As we expect others to have the confidence to carry out their tasks we too need to claim our own confidence. Half way through a dive into a pool is not the time to wonder whether one should make a dive, the diver's boldness and confidence is what will make it happen and not belly flop. In our experience of God a level of confidence is critical. Once we venture forth in faith, once we feel a longing to know more of God, or a need to hold onto that which is greater than all, we need to do so with a core of confidence. Even in our sin there is a need of confidence, letting God know exactly what and who we are is the only way that God can truly reach deep within our innermost self. If we hide and wait until we have made things right it will never happen. Confidence must be gained through practice and it must be claimed through determination and courage.
The confidence of a taxi driver comes from driving around the city many times, the confidence of a surgeon comes from many surgeries, the confidence of a lover is the experience of many trials together and knowing that the love has endured. The confidence of faith ultimately only comes from the ongoing relationship and experience of God's love again and again. Knowledge is good and needs to be sought, but the experience of grace, answers to our prayers, and the constant presence of our Lord only comes from receiving it again and again.

Some Thoughts

2010-09-14T13:24:00.001-07:00

If the Christians who want this to be a Christian nation, established by its majority of the population; then wouldn’t they be setting up a stronger precedent for another religion, say Islam, to claim their laws to be the law of the land should they become the majority?

The separation of church and state has protected Christians, Jews, Muslims and others from one dominant rule which would expect people to follow one specific religion. State religions do not convert from the heart, rather from the law. Allowing religions to speak directly to people and for them to respond from their hearts will always bring deeper change.

Targeting one religion as one to oppress, such as the recent efforts to make the Muslims victims will only increase their numbers and strengthen their voice. The blood of the martyrs was the fire which spread the Christian faith throughout Europe. We need to be careful.

There are differences between the faiths. All religions are not the same, simply stating that all religions are about loving others is just smoothing over conflicts that eventually will need to be faced.

As a Christian, I believe that the power of God as understood and experienced in Christ Jesus has the power to transform all people. That Christ lifted upon the cross will draw all people to him, and as such it is for me to trust his power and might and not my limited biases, fears and political manipulations.

Food and Faith (from 2000)

2010-09-04T09:59:00.000-07:00

It is hard to imagine a church gathering without food. Likewise, when friends and family gather together it would be very odd to simply sit or stand around for hours talking and playing games but not to have some food to share. Whether it is the comfort of having a mug of tea or coffee in one’s hand or the warmth of the liquid that makes one feel more secure and open, I do not know. But there is a connection between eating, drinking and good companionship. Perhaps it is the food and drink that helps to make our meetings sacred. In all religions throughout time, food has always been a factor. That which sustains and nourishes us is by nature a symbol and essential element of our well being. The Christian service of Holy Communion could be interpreted as a sacrament that commends us to view all our meals as sacred and opportunities for communion with God, through the fellowship with each other.
To think about the process of eating and the thought of someone watching me chew and swallow is not very pleasant. It seems very personal and I feel embarrassed at the thought of it. And yet when I join with someone else in this very personal action I do not feel so insecure. The memory of entering the school cafeteria in college and looking at everyone eating with their friends, while I stood there with my tray of food in hand, but seeing no one that I knew filled me with an isolation that was greater than if I was the only one in the building.
How and what we eat reflects directly upon our spiritual and physical well-being. When we eat very fast it is harder to digest and it is harder to communicate as compared to a leisurely and thoughtful time to not only chew one’s food but also to reflect upon what each other is saying. When we do not eat with those in our community, family or friends we distance ourselves from them, even if it is because we are busy trying to get to so many different events in which we participate in together.
Throughout his life Jesus uses food, both as a means of teaching and as a vehicle with which he unites his life with his friends. In doing this Jesus is clear that religion and faith that is only interested in ideas or supernatural experiences is severely lacking. Jesus joined us in the very basic experience of living to show us just how sacred it is. We want to get away from it all or to seclude ourselves sometimes, and with good reasons, but it is in the basic acts of living together that we are to expect to experience God.
If we cannot touch the mystery and beauty of life in ordinary times such as eating with each other, than the moments of awe on the mountaintop will not make much lasting sense either.

God gave us bodies

2010-09-04T08:19:00.001-07:00

The church is called the “body of Christ”, yet the church has not always been known for its positive relationship with the body of human flesh. And yet, it was human flesh that Jesus, the Son of God, chose to embrace in the drama of redemption. There are Jewish dietary laws, Hindu dietary laws but not so with Christianity. In fact Christianity sometimes prides itself on not being bound to laws and restrictions. The celebration of Easter with a ham somehow seems like a boast or reaction to the Jewish celebration of Passover and their concern over pork. After so many wonderful times of worship there is what Christians often call “coffee hours” of fellowship. A friend once jokingly called this drink the “Christian speed”.

And for all the receptions I have attended, after worshiping the God of the incarnation, it seems that sugar and salt are the predominant foods that adorn the table. And the covered dish suppers are not always known for their healthy demonstrations of nutrition, but rather inexpensive and easy cook pastas and sauces and desserts. During the penitential season of lent when so many churches offer church suppers, I am always amazed at the number of exotic and diverse sweets that emerge upon the food table. These are the foods that people are more likely to eat. A plate of vegetables is not often fought over at a reception, unless of course there is a very rich dip alongside.

In sharing with other clergy ideas for sermons we sometimes have noticed that sexual images or experiences oftentimes can be the clearest or expressive ways of speaking about or describing worship with God. The Song of Songs is a great example of this understanding. But whenever a comparison is made amongst us clergy, someone will state the obvious that there is no way one could, nor should, ever us that in the pulpit. The Christian faith is not always known for its delight, openness, and creativity in regards to sexuality. In fact a more prudish, non communicative, guilt ridden experience of sex is more often the norm. Celebrating the body has not been a Christian strength, as the misuse and abuse of sex and diet so often cause us to drift from our relationship with God. Why then do we encourage bad diets and do not offer positive discussion of our bodies and relationships? As a faith that is the body of Christ, I think we should be much more expert on our understanding and living in our own bodies, as temples of the Holy Spirit.

Taking Time

2010-09-03T14:27:00.000-07:00

Some times it takes time. For 25 years I have served as a parish priest. Part of being a priest is the constant reminder or visual symbol I offer to demonstrate the great importance we always have of forgiveness and to forgive others. Every Sunday I offer the absolution, a verbalization of God’s forgiveness to God’s people; not only to help people know that they are forgiven but also to demonstrate that we all need to be forgiving others all the time.

With this in mind, I find myself recovering from stubbornness of my soul or hardheadedness of my desires. Throughout my tenure in the ordained ministry I always wanted or sought out affirmation from my peers or the larger church. I wanted to fit in or be seen as someone who might have something to offer. There was some sort of emotional need I felt, that such an affirmation by the diocese or larger church would fill. For years, I would volunteer to serve on committees or run for an office or participate in one way or another in the larger church and it almost always seemed to end in disappointment. From these frustrations I felt hurt and unheard and sometimes became angry or upset. It was not from any one person or even diocese that this frustration occurred, and towards whom I could focus my hurt. Only after nearly 25 years have I finally begun to see that this is simply my desire to find something in a place where it will never be found or trying to do something that is not going to happen, like boiling water in the freezer.

Why did I keep trying? I think that part of the answer can be found in me seeking meaning or purpose in some other place than where I happen to be. If these other people or the larger church thought I was someone special, maybe that would make me someone special. I am coming to the realization, somewhat sheepishly as I probably should have learned this sooner, that longing for something else to give me meaning is not going to work. In fact it is a form of coveting. I wanted something “out there”, that I didn’t have. In discovering, or finally becoming content, that my place or ministry is not in the larger church, but simply in the small parish where I serve has helped me to let go of much of the backed up feelings of frustration towards the larger church and relax in the comfort of forgiveness. It is still easy to get distracted by activities in the larger church, but it is becoming clear to me that the distractions are simply distractions, keeping me from myself and the activity of grace in the present set of circumstances.

The greatest effect I have had in my ministry is being present with individuals, not in activities or accomplishments I might list on a resume’. And still, there lurks the shadow that somehow, something will happen and things will be different. Different is not really what I want, it is to be more alive and accept myself and my limitations. I am standing in the heart of the kingdom of God, eternity itself, and somehow being tempted by the tedium and monotony of illusion.

For the Love of Prayer

2010-08-25T06:48:00.001-07:00

There are written prayers we read, over and over again, like the Lord’s Prayer. I have prayed this prayer so often that the words are almost secondary, the very prayer is simply a part of me or perhaps I am becoming a part of it.

There are prayers I say which are requests, for healing and health and the well being of people I love. It is my way of holding onto them, reaffirming my love and in a way letting it go in order not to control as much as simply appreciate these people.

There are prayers I offer that comes from my longings and desires; concerns, frustrations and needs I feel pressuring my life. These can wake me up in the middle of the night. I offer them repeatedly to God, sometimes with great ardor. Yet, I find that the beauty of prayer comes when after repeated offerings of these prayers I slowly let go of what I once believed, thought, or felt urgently important in order to discover the larger perspective of God and God’s will. It is the wrestling with God and God's unwavering patient silence, and my wrestling with my illusions, in order to honestly look at myself, my life and my longings.

And the prayer of love comes as most dear of all. Just as the silence we share with one we love, just as the savoring of a dear friend, just as the delight in seeing someone excited to see us, so too, is the place where I can experience the reality of God loving me. And in this place I find I let go in even deeper ways to love back and discover the meaning of worship. This is not a place where I ask "why" or petition for some need, this is a place of rest, of letting go, a time of awe.

As We Love Our Selves

2010-08-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

In painting portraits, one of the greatest joys for me is the process of letting go of the preconceived ideas about the person sitting before me; and discovering, or experiencing deep love for this person.

The experience of loving others is a powerful and defining force in my life. The love I feel for my children leads me to work, sacrifice and change my plans in order to benefit their lives and needs. This love I have for them brings me wonderful pleasure and profound memories. I find great fulfillment in loving others. The love of a place or country, of beauty or for a cause, are other ways in which I find energy to live, and the essence of meaning.

On the other side of this experience and force in my life is the experience of receiving love. I find it very difficult to love someone - as opposed to receiving love from someone. In fact, I think there are times when I love or give to others in order to avoid receiving love from them. If I can give first, or most, then I will be protected from actually having to receive love myself. Or, if I do receive from them, then it is felt justified or earned because I have given them at least as much. And yet I harbor a deep longing to be loved, just loved (not an earned love) all the while fearing the actual experience of such fulfillment.

It is great to take someone’s picture or paint them; but, to have my picture painted or taken is much harder. I am a great critic of my own looks, the way I sound on tape, or the way I appear on film. Somehow, I find it hard to believe that someone could truly love me. I can more easily accept criticism than praise, and this, I feel, comes from the fear of having to receive. I have more power when I can be the giver. But can I really give when underneath I am longing to receive myself?

I am coming to believe that this struggle to be loved, this difficulty in probably even being able to love myself, is why I have trouble changing my diet and losing weight, or exercising as I should or caring for the way I look. So often I struggle for more will power to gain control of my life, and then fail again and again. It is dawning on me that perhaps it is the openness to be loved and loving my self, and experiencing the undying love of God that is the root of finding the power to change myself.

More than coming about - new course altogether

2010-08-20T07:31:00.000-07:00

The demise, or fall, of the giant retailer Barnes and Nobles has caused me to reflect upon the vast changes in our society. The business of newspapers, magazines and now books are being completely re-understood within our lifetime. It is a change as monumental as the transformations that occurred when the printing press was developed. Entire industries come and go in a generation. Even when I was sailing out in the sea, I was aware when we had internet and cell phone connection. There once was a time when one could go for a sail or drive in a car and not be connected to everyone and everything through the technology we have developed.

During the last five or so years we have seen our world make revolutionary changes. Many of them are only noted for awhile, but then passed over. The print media, as I mentioned, is nothing like it ever was before. Photographs are all digitalized and rarely printed, only passed on the internet and through cds. Music is no longer even on cds. The age of vinyl, then cassettes then cds is long over. Healthcare and Education are both undergoing radical transformations. On top of this we are seeing a shift in religion as great as anything in 2000 years. This is why we see the reaction of fundamentalism and a return to the old ways in all religions, and other various aspects of our society.

There are wonderful advantages to the technology and changes we have witnessed, indoor plumbing and the telephone, being able to call for help from where one breaks down, having access to information, and more people being able to get their voice heard is wonderful. But when the computer goes down at a business, so does business. We are followed and tracked and marketed with our every keystroke. We have the priesthood of the computer technology to intercede between us and our family and loved ones. It is dangerous as well as helpful. I would speculate that the computer is becoming an intermediary between us and our own thoughts and creativity. We need to be careful of those who benefit from our being divided and thus remain conquered. Where is the faith that reunites us with ourselves and our lives?

The Sea is Very Seductive

2010-08-19T16:26:00.000-07:00

The sea is very seductive. Watching the tides, looking at boats, feeling the swaying of the waves and the pull of the wind is all very seductive. The siren upon the rocks that lures sailors onto the rocks is perhaps the sea itself. Steering a boat, as her hull and oneself are seemingly one, pulling in the sails and feeling one with the wind and water is deeply sacred. The honest admiration of other boats as they pass, especially the very beautiful ones, only deepens the addiction to the sea. It is a world unto itself, apart from the land, away from others. It is profoundly personal and also completely universal. The power of the depths moving the boat up and down with gentle swells lulls our souls like a mother holding a child. And the awareness that it could turn dangerous at any time adds the adrenaline of excitement and fear to the chemistry of connection.
It is wonderful, it is dangerous, it is a holy communion, it is refreshment, it is communication, it is terrifying, it is the provider and the destroyer, it is the home and link between worlds, it is limited, it is ever present and endless seeming, it is essential.
Some people, like me, feel that they need to live near the water. I do not necessarily have to see it every day, but I do need to know it is there. Some people like the big sky, which is a sea in another form, but the element of water somehow draws me like a magnet. Simply watching it calms and stills restlessness. Everyday as I drive by the little river by my house I greet the tide with a "HIGH Tide" or a "HelLOW Tide". It is a companion which asks very little and is very constant.

returning from rest

2010-08-19T01:29:00.001-07:00

Emily and I just returned from an extended trip on a most wonderful sailing excursion around Penobscot Bay with Jacob Gerritsen. There are times when I have gone or done something and years later look back on it as a great time in my life. Then there are times, like this trip, when it is just so perfect and beautiful that even someone as obtuse as me can see that it is one of the great blessings in one's life while you are in the midst of it. I have felt for some time now that sailing around the islands of the Penobscot Bay in the summertime is as close to Eden or the most beautiful place on earth as one can get. It is not so overwhelming a beauty as the Grand Canyon, it is a sufficient beauty that slowly soaks into one's soul and waters it with wonder.
It is also interesting to me how while at sea we are very careful with our use of water, electricity, food, waste, etc. But now that I am home I find that I am running the water longer than perhaps I need, and leaving lights on when perhaps they are not needed. A boat is a small island with obviously limited resources, one is always aware of it. Being on this limited island of a planet just doesn't give me the same awareness, or I am just not wanting to see it and pay attention.
It is also interesting to me that hours after getting off the boat I find that my world is still gently swaying beneath my feet. I know, or at least assume, my house isn't swaying like a boat. How much of the experience is programed into my brain, how much of the swaying on the boat was just my own memory program?

If the fig tree does not blossom

2010-08-11T11:38:00.000-07:00

We need art in our lives. We need beauty in order to understand the sacred awe of our existence. We need stories to be told in order to make sense of our journey. We need fashion and style to help us claim our independence and uniqueness within each generation. We need the visual image which holds still the variations and subtleties of light in order to help us to see the depth of our relationships. We need food in order to live, we need sex in order to procreate and intimate our lives. We need water in order to be flexible and stretch. We need to safely move and inhabit safe places in order to nurture or souls and love.

We have people, and now an entire society, built around selling to our need in order to make money, not necessarily to meet the need. In fact if the need is not met we will buy again and again with the delusion of perhaps getting our need met. The desire is what drives us to continue, the delusion which keeps us from what we need. The desire that can never be met yet keeps pulsing within ourselves is what keeps us buying, unsatisfied; keeps watching, unfulfilled; keeps seeking and yet never finding what it is we are even needing anymore.

Our spiral from abundance into scarcity is a great blessing. The interruption of wealth and things might help us to touch each other again, to stop and breathe and hear a story or share what little we truly have. Until we receive, we cannot give. Until we know we need to receive, that we have fallen short and cannot make it anymore on our own, then we might find ourselves again, with each other.

I look back at the 1930’s as a great time for the visual arts in the United States, a time of depression. The 1940’s and 50’s created some great film and plays alongside of some strict censorship. Perhaps our artistic soul might be freer to emerge now that things are not as abundant and blessed. Our hunger for that which is a truly deep need will drive us to create that which will satisfy, not delude, and not just seek fame, notoriety and money.

Getting in the Way

2010-08-10T14:43:00.000-07:00

My dog has a way of getting in the way. Wherever I want to go she has a keen sense of getting there first. Sometimes this is very frustrating, other times I take it that she is just being insistent about getting some attention. Whatever the case this happens time and time again. Sometimes I am prepared and other times I almost trip over her and hurt her and myself, with both of us trying to regain ourselves along with our yelps at the other.

There are some issues, some people and some circumstances that act like this in my life. They are the things or people that can trigger me away from my best self. A news story about an injustice that I feel strongly about, or a comment made by someone that rubs me the wrong way; and suddenly my day is sent into a tailspin of emotional banter within my mind.

Animals I find are extraordinarily interconnected with our souls. It is why they know when we are sick, sad or when someone is dying. We somehow find our soulful wiring interconnected with the animals in our lives and in some cases even begin to look like them. So this annoyance from someone so close is probably a reflection of not only a need by the pet, but of something within us.

Just as the dog, wanting attention or food, gets in my way; there are issues that I avoid and yet they keep popping up to get my attention. Some people who have similar shortcomings as I do send me into a fit of judgment towards them when their words or actions are only a reflection on the frustration I feel within myself.

In my quest for peace of mind, I savor quiet and a restful place. I want to avoid the conflicts and turmoil of everyday issues. But it is these everyday issues, people and pets that keep tripping me up which are also spiritual attention getters. It is here that I need to begin my meditation. So as I prepare to go home and prepare dinner, I bring with me all my frustrations of the day and will probably find my dog slipping in front of my chins. Where can I go from your presence Lord? You call me home, to the place where I am unraveled and can let go. Today I consciously remember that the interruption to my quest for your answer is most often where I find your response.

That We Might Have Life

2010-08-09T17:46:00.000-07:00

A sister church had a sign up recently asking people about their status in regards to heaven or hell. It got me thinking, why is it that we in the church sometimes focus more on what is going to happen after we die, than what we are doing now? The more I, or others, in the church seem to focus on issues of life after death there seems to be a direct decrease in participation in the local community here and now.
My recent thought is that life after death does not start after death. We either engage now in heaven or we are living in a hell. We chose how we live, graciously, with thanksgiving, engaged in God’s forgiveness and grace; or we can slide into self service, simply getting by and through things, become overwhelmed with stress and frustrations. If I do not enter into a relationship today with God, if the forgiveness of Jesus doesn’t transform me now, dying isn’t going to help any help me any – even with the right way of thinking or memberships. For me I find that the more I engage in reaching out, helping others, trying to make a difference in my world and the lives around me the more I am open or experience the presence of God.
The question about heaven and hell really should be more present minded. Are we finding life, are we feeling alive, do we have the strength to engage or am I simply atrophied into an mindless apathy? What is going to happen has already started.

Swimming in Air

2010-08-06T09:54:00.000-07:00

Every so often I find myself writing a poem. I do not know why.
On a hot day, in Maine standards, this emerged.

This life upon the bottom of the sea,
Of atmosphere, can be so cluttered
With creatures clammering to be free
Of pain and debt and anything
That causes us to cry.
We try so hard to fly beyond
the ocean of air and breath.
And yet we still return again and again
And crawl about
Darting and hiding
From the threat whose claws might bring death,
Or worse,
humiliation or pain;
And keep us from getting wet.

What is "it"?

2010-08-05T13:45:00.000-07:00

Having recently seen several different art shows and heard various art talks I have been struck by the question, “what is it that makes something speak to me artistically?” Some of the work I saw was rather boring; some very beautiful, but the flash of wow left me feeling like something was missing; and some of the works moved my heart and soul into a place that is both wounded and divine with great poignancy.

I have heard people talk about different performances by musicians, some are very good at playing the notes well and others might miss a few notes but carries the soul of the piece out into the hearer’s heart. What makes for the difference in such performances? It is not always the case that the well played piece does not have the same soul to it, there are moments when this magic and the well played piece are one in the same. And there are times when people try for the soul and are just plan sloppy.

It is a hard thing to describe, but there are some works of art that have elevated my life or connected with my understanding and experience in such a way that I will never be the same. Once I had a surgery in which I almost died, after I had recovered and began going about my life again I came upon a painting that somehow portrayed the experience my inner awareness felt or knew in my near death experience. Simply seeing it portrayed, seeing that someone else knew what was held secret in my soul, brought great comfort and a healing awareness to me.

Much of the art I saw recently was displayed in ways that would lead people to buy it, which is important for the well being of the artist and gallery. But beauty alone or innovation alone, or craftsmanship alone can lead the piece of artwork into that place where we are changed. What is it? I think that sometimes the marketing of art inhibits such creativity. Public work that is displayed without aim of sales might help. The need to be touched and to see such transforming art is like the desire for water or companionship.

We see this “it” this transcendent power most often in nature, when we take the time to look. This need for transcendence is a great reason we need to protect our environment. But the ways in which someone else has experienced nature, life and this journey we are on and can express it with such depth on canvas or in verse or through sound is crucial for us to truly know that we, too, are somehow connected and seen.

The Need to Support our Local Churches

2010-08-04T06:43:00.000-07:00

Generally speaking, our local churches are the last remaining place we sing together, often all verses of a song, not just the first verse of the national anthem heard at a ball game. And the last place to hear people read ancient stories aloud, and poems, and to hear oral oration for wisdom. It is a place where we can gather to study and discuss a book, join in common meals that are made together, to be still, a place to meet other people, and a place to bring those things most sacred in our hearts for care and keeping in the arms of our God.

We are not funded by the government, we survive primarily by the strength and generosity of the local community. It is proportionate to the commitment of all of us as to what will be the health and well being of the soul, or spiritual health, of our community. Our participation, our time, our financial support, and most of all, our prayers will determine how high our spires truly rise above our town greens, not just our symbolic structures. We open our doors not only for those who qualify or agree with us, but for all who dare enter the silences of one’s soul, or wish to seek some sort of solace in their life. We are also a place open for the daily activity and the betterment of our society with scout meetings, public forums, AA, and other activities that strengthen us for our common good.

Our society spends millions of dollars in an effort to isolate us into addictions with electronics which seemingly connect our lives, but cannot compete with a handshake, or an embrace, or a conversation face to face. Highways, designed to speed commerce, have driven our families further apart. Technology and transportation offer ways to worship perceived perfection on television and in person with celebrities. This does not offer, however, the live exchange and personality of our own families, friends, and neighbors. The local church offers the place where friends and neighbors, oftentimes far from loved ones, can gather and claim that space between our loved ones which is sacred and held together with prayer. Gathering together to pray and worship is the great affirmation to live and love; and the revolutionary declaration against the twin tyrannies of apathy and avoidance. It is truly important that we support our churches in every way possible; that we keep these institutions, which represent the soul of our community, alive, vibrant and healthy.

More reflection on my trip to the island

2010-08-03T07:23:00.000-07:00

Moving out to an island seems to me to almost live out a metaphor. To move apart from the mainland is an act of separation. With this thought in mind, I began wondering about the metaphor in which I live. My town, Thomaston, is a place of crossroads, between the peninsulas which stretch down the river and route one which bisects it. It is also a town that sits in the shadow of other bigger towns nearby, the towns of Rockland and Camden.

In reflecting on the metaphor of the town in which I live, I see that my life reflects the geography of my habitation. So often I have sensed that I am always in the midst of a crossroads in my life and always under the shadow of others.

There is a spirituality and psychology of geography which deeply affects us. On my first sabbatical I discovered the outer connection of the land to my soul. Whatever I was dealing with inside my head, heart and soul would become manifest in what I would do left to my own devises in the woods. When I was charting new paths in my thoughts I would go out and do the same in the woods, and this would continue with all sorts of other ways of thinking and then acting. When I realized this I would consciously try not to do things that I was working on within my soul, but when I would reflect later it became evident that I still was doing outwardly what was going on inwardly.

We become part of our land, and our land is a part of us, whether we know it or not.

a day in Matinicus

2010-08-02T18:15:00.000-07:00

Going to the island of Matinicus today for a funeral. It is a beautiful place with wonderful people.

It seems to me that living on an island really takes a commitment, living becomes very intentional. Simple things need to be considered that people on the mainland take for granted, like trips to the store, or ferry times. There are very clear limitations set out by the limits of the island itself. I wonder what kind of commitment I make to where I live? If not having to be so deliberate about such little things as transportation, stores and getting into and out of my town causes me to take more for granted and exposes me to miss important things in life.

And Still

2010-08-01T14:26:00.000-07:00

As I pass the jeweler I love to look at things
and maybe I might buy, with great savor,
something for my wife, whom I love so much.

When birthdays come around it is a joy to think of what I might give to my children, and even more to see their excitement, when they open a gift.

When I share a breakfast with a good friend, it feels good to be able to take the check and pay for us both,
because this is something important to me.

These are not things done because I have to,
or just because it is a good thing.
It is simply a piece of my heart’s response.

O Lord, you are deeper than any love in my heart, the One I cry to in my distress and in whom I find my rest. You are the one who holds my heart together with these dear ones in my life. You have been giving to me surprises, blessings and these very ones I love, simply out of your deep pleasure.

Why do I look at my giving to you. O Lord,
like a bill to be paid, or a burden to bear?

And still, your forgiveness and mercy wake me
every morning fresh and new again.